At the end of 2015 we'll celebrate 10 years. But today it's two years of being married. Year 2 has been fucking hard, thanks to all the curveballs life bowled at us. (If I hadn't made those vows, I'm really not sure I could have stuck it out.)
Unemployment is the root of all evil. Financial stress is the worst. Everything builds on from there.
Is it sad that money (or lack of) could take such a toll on our relationship? Sure, but it's not love that makes the world go round - it's money.
Our opposite personalities normally complement each other, but during this time they put us at odds.
Emma Lincoln has it right. Fear is the problem. I was constantly stressed, and my body started coming to pieces in response. I was afraid, on a daily basis, for so long.
I'm still scared. Terrified that the curveballs are only going to come harder and faster in the future.
It would be cruel to have to endure another year like it. But anything can happen. More than one person has reminded me recently that ultimately much of your life is beyond your control, and grand plans are often going to be derailed. The rug could be pulled out from under us at any time, and I'm trying to be okay with that. (It so nearly was just the other week. The joys of temp life.)
I want to say that I feel hopeful about the future, but I'm reluctant to tempt fate (that is just asking for trouble) and thus, even though I'm feeling pretty happy on a day to day basis, that's probably not going to be reflected in my writing. For now at least, as long as money's coming in and I have a somewhat dry and warm house to live in, that can be enough.
On the plus side, I've finally got around to getting our wedding photos printed. Waiting on them to arrive. Hurrah!
