Humor Magazine

A Terrible Thing to Waste

By Kyknoord
A terrible thing to waste

Anyone who has even dipped their toes into the dark waters of neuroscience will know that mind and body are inextricably linked. Our visceral aspect is an essential part of the ephemeral. If you were able to remove someone’s brain and successfully hook it up to a life-support system, the resulting mind would not be entirely human. I suspect that this procedure may already have been done, because it’s certainly one way to explain the emptiness of my current Project Manager’s cranium. The alternative is just too sad to contemplate: his singular brain cell committed suicide out of loneliness.

This line of thought was prompted by the ongoing physical failure of the reanimated corpse I laughingly refer to as “my body”. I am the human equivalent of an Alfa Romeo Arna (If you decide to look it up, be prepared to be horrified) completed at five o’clock on a Friday afternoon. As my condition deteriorates and the pain ramps up, the disconnect between who I was and who I am widens.

I am literally losing my mind.


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