I have a guilty pleasure: watching the Bachelor. I love seeing the ridiculous dates they go on in exotic locations and enjoy the occasional cheesy line thrown around. I also think that it's no wonder these people think they're in love with all the alcohol they're constantly being served.Whether they are truly in love or not, I saw something in the finale that everyone in the dating world can relate to. When Brad, the bachelor, told Chantal that he had stronger feelings for the other contestant, the look on her face showed exactly how she felt. That moment when your romantic fantasies about someone come crashing down.
I'm not getting into the debate over whether reality television is real, but there is no denying the expression of hurt and pain that was on Chantal's face with Brad's uttering of "but here's the tough part."
What Chantal was feeling at that very moment, a broken heart, is what every person wants to avoid. That's why people play games and have casual sex without any strings attached. They can still find aspects of exclusive relationships without pain down the road. It's partly why people become commitment phobes as well.
No one wants to feel that hurt.
But the more I thought about how much I hate that feeling when your heart drops because you just learned that that person you're crazy about doesn't feel the same, I realized how indispensable that "punch in the stomach" feeling is.
While you can try to not let yourself care about someone or get emotionally involved, it happens from time to time. If you don't care about or love someone, you won't feel heart broken when things don't work out.
You can't feel pain if you don't feel love, plain and simple. I'm not going to go as far as saying the cliche "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" is true for everyone, but we can't avoid love to avoid pain. If you do end up with a broken heart, I've heard that they heal over time.
Loving someone is a risk; it's a decision to forget about the possibility of getting hurt because you just want to be with that person.
xoxo Nickie
