Life Coach Magazine

A Nonsexual Caulbearer In A Sexual And Sexist World

By Latoya @latoyallawrence

A Nonsexual Caulbearer In A Sexual And Sexist World

I am a person born of the caul who happens to be asexual and that has been disturbing to individuals who are twisted. I just unfortunately in the past had lived and grown up in a neighborhood full of sick and low-minded people in which I was far set apart from within mind and character.

Luckily, I was always able to branch out and come across and meet those of a higher vibration and of versatile range that I could relate to and appreciate all throughout my life as I went different places unbeknownst to the assholes who remained amongst the fellow likes of themselves and who couldn’t go no further.

There were men who’s sisters, nieces and daughters had got hurt or dogged out by men and there was nothing to talk about when it came to me.

What was so special about LaToya? Why didn’t she get caught up out there?

This is the absurd way in which these degenerate people thought and we have people like this and who generate within this fashion all over the place.

So these neighborhood people had for years endeavored to calculate an unnatural situation through the use of deceptive black magic along with lies to create a facade of camouflaging negativity toward my life that would coincide with and shadow up the celestial light of my true destiny and fate.

They tried to bring me into their darkness and cover me within a glue of a paint so ugly and stagnant in color. A substance of demonic craft they didn’t ensure for me to vehemently peel away from.

I think at one time adversaries were spreading and also wanted me to believe that I was a whore with diseases, a prostitute, and other off the wall things, I don’t know for sure if I was suppose to be a drug addict too, and I also think that because I wasn’t fazed by this nonsense I was supposed to be either crazy or putting up a front because their conspiracy of fabrications was supposed to be my ultimate truths even though they all knew what they were doing.

They wanted me to appear lower than what they were so everything they had done within their lives they put on me to make themselves feel better and they intended for their lies to follow me for the rest of my life in payback for me not having been in the same category as them as they perceived me as to think that I was better than them.

In spite of all the dirt these people have directed toward me it has not killed my spirit or brought me down.

The words bitch and whore don’t faze me. I’ve never been intimidated or affected by utterances intended to bring down a woman’s confidence or self-esteem. If anything, I was further liberated and elevated in discerning that I was at a higher level of knowledge and spiritual consciousness.

I don’t know how much this would resonate with other Caulbearer’s who had to go through shit or just others who stood out for whatever reasons but when it came to a man and sex people around my old neighborhood really yearned for me to get swallowed up in the same holes they had gotten trapped into.

My father’s sister told my father years ago that “I was too hard for a girl”.

“Really?” I had thought to myself. I didn’t know that as a female I was supposed to be weak or defined as what society projected an acceptable or proper female out to be. All I knew is how to be my true self and I wasn’t changing that for anyone or to meet anyone’s bias standards.

No one can dictate to me how I should be or not be as a genuine female within my own distinct mode of character.

One thing in which really struck me as quite odd and ridiculous is among the particular gutter-rats and certain people on a low-level within mentality and intellect where I grew up around who for some outrageous reason erroneously took for granted and automatically expected me to have had an interest in men, an attraction, or sexual desire, just because most people were wired or designed, or came out to be this way, whereas I never did, never was, and never will, and it came to be an actual subject of silly gossip and idle debate.

Of course, when we’re not like everyone else and don’t exude the same type of behavior as the majority or as average it gets noticed and talked about.

Others who aren’t thoroughly acquainted with us (even those who may have been around us for years) enough make quick assumptions or generalizations about our character taking into presumption that we must have the same needs, wants, mindsets, emotions, shortcomings and/or etc… And these drawn up conclusions are not always the case within many people’s nature and everday lifestyles.

I’ve been told personally by certain others that I’m very unique and that there’s no one out there who is like me. Though I do know there are a variety of distinct individuals within existence who differ greatly as this is a huge world in which we all live in, but for the most part, these people were just acknowledging to me that I was a rare person from their own observation and perception.

A distant relative of mine had even stated to my mother that it wasn’t normal for me to not have any nature (sexual appetite). I strongly disagreed because to me it is not about what is so called normal but it is about what serves as being healthy to one and within one’s own nature and life. The way I am is indeed normal to me, however, to each his or her own.

Why was the fact that I and my vagina didn’t need or want the undesirable pounding of a penis or the attention of any man so interesting and prone to circulating?

So spread out and disappointing to the point where it created hostility and denial on the part of those who for jealous reasons of their own preferred that I innately share the same tendencies and susceptibilities as they did?

I was born with my own individual attributes.

No man can do anything for me mentally or physically and I don’t express this to be harsh but I have to convey because it is the absolute truth. It is important for one to not repress who they really are on account of other people’s judgments due to a lack of knowledge in specific areas on their part.

It is very unhealthy for one to do so.

I don’t know why sex is so important and significant to these people. I don’t understand why they believed or hoped that if I indulged in the sexual act or had a man attempt to degrade me with nonsense talk equivalent to a mediocre mindset in regard to false sexual encounters or the delusion of what they believed to be would actually have any bearing or reflection on me as they gambled so hard on the outcome and for it to follow me within my life as if it was something legitimate.

It’s also sad how sex sells and how sex is promoted the way that it is when in my opinion intercourse itself actually means nothing. I have written many articles and quite a few were editors picks in online publishing and magazines yet it was the article that I wrote about being Asexual that prompted a few publishers to contact me for permission to display them as they thought the write up was “powerful” and beneficial.

I didn’t mind at all it’s just out of all the things I have written about it’s the one regarding not having any interest in sex or men that catches the most attention?

Society is too sex crazed that it clouds their judgment when it comes to those who have no true interest in sexual matters.

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