Hi Readers! I was at A Life Overseas yesterday writing to those who are left behind. You may have already seen a first version of this post a couple of years ago, but if not I would love it if you joined me!
"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you."
― Frederick Buechner
I watched with a sinking heart as my son walked through security and down the hallway to his gate. He was leaving from Logan International Airport in Boston, Massachusetts for a gap semester in Oxford, England.
This was my youngest, my baby. The entire process of getting him ready and off was an event. I have said goodbye to many before - other family members, dear friends, other children - it was never easy, but this one felt different. It was the end of an era: An era of parenting that was finishing, a new stage beginning.
My husband and I had reversed the roles we had for so long; the roles where we were the ones leaving. Now it was our children and we were the ones left behind.
It's always the same. I stand at the airport or in the driveway and the word 'grief' feels too shallow for what I feel, all the emotions that flow through my heart and mind. I watch as my life changes in slow motion as the people I love drive away or go through airport security.
"You sob like you will never stop. There is no one to hold you. There is no one to offer tangible, concrete comfort. Slowly the sobs swallow you up. You begin to feel such relief, the relief that comes only from a cry so deep you can't explain it. And somehow you know that God is there."*I know with each parting, that life will never be the same and I'm never quite sure I will be able to handle it. I'm never sure whether this time might be the time where I become undone, where I can no longer pick up the pieces and move forward accepting that those I love are gone. But each time I do. Each time I survive, and I smile and laugh again, and though it hurts, somehow it's okay.
So this piece is for the one who is left behind.I don't know your exact situation, but I surely know this 'deeper than grief' feeling, I know what it is to leave, but I also know what it is to be left behind. Here are some thoughts for those who are left behind:
