I never really took death well. Every time, someone left, I felt as though a part of me was gnawed away and my soul would never be complete. Ever since my Grandma passed away, I had been kindly excused from wakes and funerals. And now this ball of negative emotions is back - anger, guilt, remorse, devastation and pain.
I am angry at my Dad for not informing us when Little D was acting out of sorts and more legathic than usual. I was furious that I didn't bring him to the doctor to cure his moldy shell (even when every one told me it was healthy fungi). I was infuriated that he did not show me signs that he was leaving and left so unexpectedly. Ingrate!
I am guilty for not being a better owner. Despite 16 years of thick and thin, we have not a single photo together, partially because he was always there, albeit silently but still very present. And also partially because my tortoise had this default sian face when he took photos. He always smiled when we splashed water at him though.
--- Chatted to my BF and is feeling better after googling about Little D's species. I am now very sure he led a happy, blissful life during his 16 years with us. I decided to write 10 facts of Little D for his Eulogy instead to remember him by instead of negative, nasty feelings. ---
- I actually don't know how old Little D is. Little D came into out life (literally crawl to our door one day). And he came around the time my hamster ran away. So we always thought Little D was God's compensation to me. (And he accompanied me for 16 years.)
- Little D is very mild-tempered and kind. Unlike many other red-eared sliders who bite and show aggression, Little D never once bit me even when I played with his paws. I always tot we should have got him a friend so he won't be lonely, but apparently his species are territorial and are happier alone.
- Little D has a chip on the back of his shell. It is because I was playing with him on a table one day when I was still in my early teens and he fell off. Initially, I was afraid he would die from shocked (My bro's tortoise died because of that.) But thankfully apart from that chip that never grew back, he lived till quite a ripe old age.
- Little D doesn't eat pet feed. He is quite picky, preferring Kang Kong and fresh fruits. We even grow his own little pot of vegetables. But I did make him eat pet feed for protein when his shell was a bit mouldy. Can't say he enjoyed it but he ate it nonetheless.
- Little D can really run. During his bathe time, it is usually a case of him crawling about as we chase after him. He can hop too! (Bouncing around on his shell). He is one hell of a weird fellow.
- Little D enjoys having water being splashed on his face like a waterfall. You can literally see him smiling when you put him under the running tap (slow stream of water). He would stick out his tail and sometimes even pretend he is swimming. Doofus.
- Little D is quite smart. He knows who feeds him or will feed him. Usually he will knock on his aquarium when my Dad or me come home or is about to leave the house. He ignores the rest of the family.
- Like I say, Little D has this default glazed, sian face. I used to talk to him when I was younger and he seemed to be quite a good listener.
- When Little D is not in shy mood, he may let you stroke his head and play with his claws and paws. And sometimes even his tail too.
- Little D hated scrubs. We had to do that when his shell was mouldy. But he really disliked it and would let his head out to do a snap. Sometimes he would snap at the brush too. :)
Treasure the things you love before they become a memory
