94 Funny Quotes and Sayings to Make You Laugh out Loud

Some of life's truths can be communicated in better way when it has some funny element in it. Funny Quotes and saying do the exactly same. These not only make you ponder, also lighten your mood when it's needed. In this article we have curated Best Funny Quotes and Sayings, which will make you laugh out loud. Read through, memorize a few and share with your near ones.

Funny Quotes

1. "Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."~ James Thurber
2. "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."~ Alan Dundes
3. "Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."~ Albert Einstein
4. "My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine."~ Caroline Rhea
5. "All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."~ Casey Stengel

Funniest Quotes

1. "At every party there are two kinds of people ~ those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."~ Ann Landers
2. "Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you're able to 'fall asleep right now.'" ~ Anonymous
3. "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."~ Dorothy Parker
4. "A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money." ~ W. C. Fields
5. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." ~ Rodney Dangerfield
6. "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right."~ Ashleigh Brilliant
7. "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."~ Benjamin Franklin
8. "Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"~ Benny Hill
9. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Bernard Baruch
10. "Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." ~ John Wayne

Funny Inspirational Quotes

1. "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell
2. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you." ~ Billy Wilde
3. "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" ~ Abraham Lincoln
4. "He who laughs last didn't get the joke." ~ Charles de Gaulle
5. "My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."~ Walter Matthau
6. "A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers."~ H. L. Mencken
7. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."~ Charles Lamb
8. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia."~ Charles M. Schulz
9. "By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."~ Charles Wadsworth
10. "High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead."~ Christopher Morley

Funny Quotes about Life

1. "You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. Now you tell me you love me, that's why I'm scared!" ~ Anonymous
2. "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."~ Dr. Seuss
3. "Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."~ Cullen Hightower
4. "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." ~Mark Twain
5. "If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?"~ Cynthia Heimel
6. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target."~ Ashleigh Brilliant
7. "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."~ Harlan Ellison
8. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."~ Dalai Lama
9. "If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out."~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti
10. "Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."~ Dale Carnegie

Funniest Quotes of all time

1. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." ~ Rita Rudner
2. "I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."~ David Lee Roth
3. "A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future."~ Denis Waitley
4. "Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something."~ Enid Blyton
5. "My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana." ~ Rose (Betty White)

Funny Quotes

Best Funny Quotes

Cute Funny Quotes

1. "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money."~ Jackie Mason
2. "Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair." ~ Dorothy Parker
3. "According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog."~ Jay Leno
4. "People are prisoners of their phone... that's why it's called a "cell" phone." ~ Invajy
5. "God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk."~ Meister Eckhart
6. "I just realized that 'Let me check my calendar' is the adult version of 'Let me ask my mom.'" ~ Noelle Chatham
7. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." ~ Elbert Hubbard
8. "Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld
9. "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience."~ George Bernard Shaw
10. "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!"~ Billy Connolly

Top Funny Quotes

1. "Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop."~ Gertrude Stein
2. "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."~ Oscar Levant
3. "A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."~ Groucho Marx
4. "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."~ Groucho Marx
5. "It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours."~ Harry S. Truman
6. "People kept saying 'Go Corona' and it went to other countries to spread across the globe." ~ Invajy
7. "I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."~ Henny Youngman
8. "The road to success is always under construction."~ Lily Tomlin
9. "When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic."~ Jane Wagner
10. "Always forgive your enemies ~ nothing annoys them so much."~ Oscar Wilde
11. "The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large."~ Josh Billings
12. "The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."~ Kin Hubbard
13. "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe."~ Mark Twain
14. "A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." ~ Milton Berle

Thank you for reading this. Which quote you liked the most in above list? Please let us know your favorite quote in comments section.

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