I just spent 4 whole days without internet, TV and Netflix! Yes I paid the bills. Ends up one cable company cut my cable companies wires and knocked out a few neighborhoods over the weekend. I mean it’s 2019 and this shouldn’t happen. So I had 4 days to learn a lot about myself and my family and people in general. It’s not pretty, but read on…
- I Do Not Like Who I Become With No TV. Irritable, cranky, sweary and hungry. That’s what happens with no TV. Everyday I spend a little time watching a Netflix episode of something and a little bit of news. The dog gets a little wired and to calm him down, we turn on Animal Planet and watch ‘Pit Bulls and Parolees’ which is his favorite show. Without the TV, we had nothing to do. It was at least 98 degrees or more outside and humid. I refused to do extra laundry just because there was time to do it. I fell asleep in my chair and ended up going upstairs to finish my nap on Friday. Woke up to my husband asking me why I was still in bed at 8:30 pm and what was for dinner. Sweet Jesus. And yes he is still living. I’m already on anxiety meds and they were not helping me through this at all.
- I Am Addicted to Candy Crush. There. I said it. After all these years I thought I could just stop playing that dumb game on my phone. Just stop cold turkey. Turns out if there is no TV or internet I will use my hotspot in a skinny minute and play Candy Crush till the cows come home. Or I run out of lives. I keep asking my friends for more lives so I can keep going but they are all like, “you still play that? We stopped playing that years ago. I wish you would stop sending us notices that you need more lives. Don’t you have laundry to do or a blog to write?” I’m beginning to wonder who my real friends are. Help a girl out for crying out loud. I thought we were in a new era where we lift each other up and help other women out? Geesh. That’s ok. I’ll remember that when you need a frozen margarita and a shoulder to cry on because your husband left you for a younger, skinny blonde.
- I Tend to Shop in Stores More. Since I can’t really get on my home computer to shop on Amazon, I have had to actually get out and go to Target. You know what that means. Go in for hairspray and come out with dollar bin items that were really $3 bins and now we are broke. Ended up eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for two days because I had to shop IN Target instead of just ordering on Amazon from my home office. And before I made it home from Target I found a Holly Lobby and I pulled in and totally blacked out before I realized I had maxed out a credit card. (SSHHHH Don’t tell Big Daddy).
- I Drink More. So with no TV or internet I find myself wandering though the house looking in cabinets and drawers I forgot we had. Found a collection of Tequila I had forgotten we hid from the kids back when they were in high school. So naturally I had to make up some margaritas. I think I actually became nicer at that point. Well, happier. The dog and I bonded and it was like I could feel what he was thinking. He’s a great dog to drink with.
- I Will Not Survive The Zombie Apocalypse. If the world ended tomorrow and we had no phones, TV or computers, running water or electricity (HVAC), I. WOULD. DIE. I had withdrawals these past 4 days. I was drooling, hungry, cranky, a terrible mom and wife. To top it off, I would not want to survive. I would give up so fast. Let those walkers bite me. I don’t want to live like that. But I know one day it will happen. Until then, I will no longer feel bad that I am addicted to technology and air-conditioning. I will play Candy Crush and annoy everyone for more lives. I am no Mary Ingalls Wilder and that’s ok.
- I Will Not Tolerate Bad Customer Service. I was lied to from our cable provider. I was told there was no outage and someone would be out tomorrow to check my service. Before that I had tweeted to our provider for help. Initially they said they would check things out and get back to me. They never did and when I questioned that, they continued to publicly ignore me. Then when they did decide to send me a tech, it was like this:
It was a technician I happened to find in my neighbors yard that told me it WAS an outage and cables had been cut. SO now I am after a credit to my account for this BS. You can’t win. They have you by the ovaries. I’m now looking into going cable free. Just internet so I can stream Netflix and a few other things. I’ll show those rat bastards! And you know what else? They sent me a damn survey on how they did during my time without service BEFORE it was even fixed! You can bet I am going to shred some people with that survey!
Until next time, Peace, Love & Margaritas!
