Dating Magazine

50 Shades of “bad Boy” Grey

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

Everyone is talking, blogging and writing about it. It is the anything but typical love story between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Anastasia is a young, innocent virgin who meets and falls for Grey- a complex and dangerous man who loves to dominate and inflict physical pain during intimacy. Right up front, I had two questions: What could she possibly see in him? And “Why are so many women readers hooked on this first book and anxious to read the next one in this disturbing trilogy?

Hint- there is SOMETHING about bad boys. They are dark and dangerous, mysterious, never boring, filled with paradoxes- and keep us on the edge of our seats, just like this book does. The candid truth about women is that they love edgy guys who take charge and in doing so contribute to their feeling more “womanly’ and “feminine.” Oh, admit it, ladies- this is what romance novels and “Twilight” genre movies are all about. Strong, rescuing men who sweep the helpless or at risk heroine off her feet and carry her to an exciting place dominated by him. She relies on his strength, bravery, power and leadership for safety and even her identity.

Since the rise of feminism, women have taken on new and different roles- often the ones that had been typically filled by men. Women have become breadwinners, executives, business owners, high level professionals and co-partners in their relationships. They are increasingly taking the lead when in social and dating situations and men are stepping back to make room for them to do this. Just what all women want, right? Maybe yes, maybe no- or a little of both. Perhaps deep down inside there is a longing for the old roles and way of relating- when men were men and women could lean on them and count on them to take care of them and their children. Perhaps women have discovered that being the strong one isn’t all its cracked up to be given all the weight and responsibility that comes along with the job.

Careful if you are tempted to use the “dinosaur’ word about me right now- I’m just speaking at least the partial truth. Because examining the issue could help both men and women in their search for relationships that meet their needs on a number of different levels. Perhaps this book could lead to a more open and candid dialog that would facilitate greater understanding and even harmony between the sexes.

If a woman’s fantasies are ignited by this trilogy- men should take note.


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