Our future is in our own hands. It’s something we make or break ourselves completely, or so it seems. It’s definitely true that sometimes if you really want something, you have to try really hard to get there. But constantly having to try and do everything ourselves also causes stress and sometimes even results in things you want actually not happening. For instance, I was looking really hard for a boyfriend last year, but with some things it just doesn’t work that way. When I stopped trying so hard, I actually found one (who has also already left me again, but that’s a different story ;)) which showed me that sometimes, we should try a little less hard and trust our paths, the universe and circumstances. When you really want something, it can be hard to let it go and I’m not saying that you should let it go completely, but not obsessing over it or trying too hard can be really refreshening and actually bring you closer to where you want to be. Here’s 4 tips to try less hard.
- If you focus on just one goal or direction, you might lose sight of other paths that are just as good (or even better!). Be open to different approaches and different paths that lead in your direction. Your way isn’t necessarily always the best way. Get advice from others and actually listen to it. A lot of roads lead to Rome.
- Have an expectant and relaxed attitude towards your goal, instead of being stressed out about not being there yet. Tell yourself that all outcomes are ok. Whether you get a yes or a no, put the different outcomes in to perspective. Think about what would happen if what you want to happen doesn’t happen, and find reasons why that would be ok as well. We don’t always get what we want, what really matters is how we respond to that fact.
- Focus on the positive aspect of why you’re trying what you’re trying. Don’t think: if I don’t find a man I’ll be alone for the rest of my life, but think: I’d like to date because I like the company of a man. Focusing on the positive site will turn your goal into a fun extra, instead of something you cannot fail at. It takes some of the pressure off.
- It’s not always true that you can accomplish everything if only you try hard enough. Trying really hard can cause a lot of stress. Stop thinking about how things should be going, and have a positive and open attitude to what’s actually happening. This way you’ll be less disappointed when things don’t work out, which they simply not always do. With low expectations, your disappointments will be less intense and you’ll be happier and more relaxed. Whether you’re finding a boyfriend or looking for the perfect pair of sneakers.
