There's so many different things I could talk about when it comes to raising teens. When it comes to parenting, I like to focus on our relationships. I know that our happiness in this life is completely wrapped up in our relationship with God and our relationship with our family. My goal is to help you build and strengthen your relationships with your teenagers. They are growing up and forming their own thoughts and opinions. This causes some tension between children and parents as this is a big transitioning phase. These are some tips to make sure your relationship stays strong throughout these moments.
1. You are Your Child's Biggest Cheerleader
Now let's think about a Football game. What is the cheerleaders purpose? To bring motivation and strength and cheer on the players. This should be your role as your children go through the game of life. They need you because in the game of life, it gets very difficult and there's lots of challenges and surprises and things that set you back. That's where you come in cheering “You got this!” letting your children know that you are here for them, through thick and thin, through all the setbacks and losses. You are here to support them.
A cheerleader is someone that brings joy. Is that how your children envision you, as their cheerleader? Are you the one person always pulling for them no matter what? Are you there building them back up and always ready to comfort? Are you doing this with joy and positivity?
2. Criticizing vs Counseling
Being critical damages relationships while counseling strengthens trust. We all know what it feels like when someone is critical of us. Being critical means to condemn, to insult, to point out someone's flaws for no other purpose, but to point out someone else's flaws. Sometimes, as parents, we mix up being critical with parenting.
Parenting is to counsel and correct our children, but we should never correct without showing a better way. There should always be a purpose behind our correction.
When I think of counseling, I think of someone who gently makes suggestions to me and helps me talk through the decisions I make. That's our role in our child's life, to be good listeners and then ask really good questions to help them sift through their different thoughts. That is so important because, especially with teens, it’s important for them to become independent thinkers. That’s divine design. God created us all to be independent thinkers and to have free agency.
3. Help Teens Plan Fun Activities
Teenagers enjoy spending time with their friends and I don’t blame them. That's exactly what I wanted to do when I was their age. The problem lies in periods of time where there are too many unplanned activities. Meaning, we want our kids to be actively engaged in any activity.
For example this was a conversation my son and I would have often.
![4 ways to strengthen your relationship with your teen 4 ways to strengthen your relationship with your teen](https://m5.paperblog.com/i/227/2271785/4-ways-to-strengthen-your-relationship-with-y-L-dHEZp7.png)