"Russian Nested Dolls"
by Images by John 'K'
is licensed under CC BY 2.0
I stopped making New Year's resolutions a long time ago. More recently, I have been selecting a Word of the Year (WODY) instead.
I have found that by choosing a focus word, I can think deeply about the meaning and application of the word. In addition, the word is more flexible, allowing me to change and grow over twelve months.
A WODY is more open, dynamic, fluid, and inviting than a resolution.
For several months at the end of 2021, I considered the word "boxed" for 2022 as a way to focus on boundaries. Then I thought about choosing (un)boxed so that I could on the one hand avoid long-held labels that I felt were restricting me. (I'm a Type A. I'm an oldest child. I'm an extrovert. I'm an avid reader.)
I wanted to entertain shedding some of these labels while at the same time setting up some boundaries. (Un)Boxed would allow me all kinds of possibilities.
By January I found myself drawn to the word SMALLER as my 2022 WODY.
For decades, I have been overextending myself, trying to study everything, meet everyone, master several skills--more, more, more; bigger, bigger, bigger.
Now that I'm inarguably in the Second Half of life, I am recognizing my limits.
Of late, I want to do a few things very well instead of striving to do everything--only to find myself failing and exhausted. I have long thought that maturity is not born out of wisdom so much as it's born out of exhaustion. I need to be more strategic and precise in how I use my time, attention, energy, and other resources.I also want to present myself in public in a way that is smaller. The image I have in mind is this:
I want to be a nesting Russian doll in the inverse. I want to present a very small doll as my presence to the world. I want to reserve the more complex, expressive, and vivid aspects of my personality to a smaller subset of people.
And I want the most complex and dynamic version of myself to only be visible to me and to the Divine.
I have spent decades trying to gain the attention and the approval of anyone and everyone. I have found that to be an impossible task. Furthermore, doing so has made me vulnerable to critics--some criticize me out of ignorance, some out of carelessness, and some out of malice.
I have lived for more than a half century, and I have waning time, energy, and resources. I want to be a lot more intentional about how I project my presence and what kinds of projects I adopt.
I want to be small in ways that condenses my power.
Related
My 2020 WODYs were Humility and Compassion (I "cheated" and chose two.)
I can't find a post at Segullah or here on TGAM for my 2019 WODY.
