Hello again, dear listeners.
Every day, every week, every year, every month, every one asks me the same question: “How much do you know, and why don’t you tell me all you know, already?!”
So, dearest listener, I have decided to partake of yon desires and giveth to thee my knowledge – wrapped up in two little balls. The two little balls are titled, 17 things I know for sure, and, 17 things I think are right but I’m not totally sure.
Are you ready? Let’s go! Get ready to fill your brains to the brim with my knowledge and then thee too, may become smarter than the average cow.
17 things I know for sure
- Spiders kill you dead
- Sharks kill you dead
- Snakes kill you dead
- Whales may accidentally kill you dead because they are so big they may not see you and because of that they kill you because they weigh a ton and will squish you
- Killer bees kill you dead
- The black plague kills you dead
- 7 is a prime number
- Monsters (vampires, werewolves, ratmen) kill you dead
- Zombies kill you undead
- Guns kill you dead
- Knives kill you dead
- Global warming kills everything dead
- Dinosaurs would kill you dead except they are already dead
- Tigers kill you dead
- Lions kill you dead
- A lion mixed with a tiger is called a liger
- Baldness kills you dead (if by “baldness” you mean getting scalped by a helicopter rotor after you forget to duck when you are getting out of the helicopter)
See – you feel smarter already, don’t you? And all this I am passing on to you free of charge because I love thee and want to help thee and thy descendants! And now…
17 things I think are right but I’m not totally sure
- Creamy chunks of macadmaia, mixed with delicious golden oat clusters, crunchy flakes, bran straws, and puffed wheat, topped off with honey is the ideal blend to start your day
- At Sanitarium (TM) they believe it’s what’s on the inside that counts
- That’s why they made sure that Light ‘n’ Tasty is as good for you as it is tastes
- To feel better inside it is vital that you and your family are able to eat nutritious foods every day
- With Light ‘n’ Tasty you get a delicious cereal made right here in Australia, by an Australian company, using the best tasting local grains
- Light ‘n’ Tasty is a great choice for your community too, because every product that we make for you allows us to support the community with services such as our Sanitarium Nutrition Service Team available to all Austrlians for free nutrition advice
- For variety, try launching your day with one of the other great Light ‘n’ Tasty flavours
- Light ‘n’ Tasty Macadamia & Honey provides the best of everything – wholesome grains and irresistible crunchiness
- Tasty contains six essential vitamins and minerals, including 25% of your daily iron nd calcium needs
- One box of Sanitarium (TM) Light ‘n’ Tasty weighs 620g Net
- One box contains 15 servings
- It contains gluten
- The use by date is 20th Oct 2014
- The box is recyclable
- Spiders have six legs
- Some snakes have two legs – these are called lizards
- Macaws are birds whereas pawpaws are not
Amen.
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