Worrying. It can get the best of all of us. It’s perfectly normal, yet can be very annoying. Personally, I worry a lot. About little things like to do lists, to big things like whether people like me or not. I would sit and just worry for hours, and get nothing done, which was again something to worry about. After an immense amount of worrying, I decided to take care of my worries, so I did some research, thought of what could help and started tackling my worries. Here’s some steps you can take if you’re done worrying all the time, they really helped for me so I hope they’ll help you as well.
- Don’t try to stop your worries. That will only make them worse. You can however get control over them somehow, by starting to recognize when you’re worrying. That’s an important first step, because when you catch yourself worrying, you can do something about it and snap out of it. You can control your worries somehow by postponing them. If you’re worried about something, just write it down somewhere (like in your phone) and decide to worry about it later. Allow yourself to half an hour a day for those worries that go through your head all day. We think we can solve problems by thinking about them, but that’s not really how it works. Postponing your worries gives you more control over them.
- Create some overview by writing down your worries and making a list. Which problems can you solve, and which ones not? For the ones you can solve: take (small) steps in the direction you want to go in, and make decisions, even if you don’t want to. Make priorities and take control by making decisions and taking steps. Make sure your steps aren’t too big, so that you can do one small step every day and get closer to dissolving your worries. Slowly but surely you will have solved at least 1 problem!
- For the worries you can not solve: put them into perspective and ‘zoom out’. Worries are often based on fear, and fear can cause a blurred vision. Challenge your thoughts. Ask yourself these questions:
Am I solving my problem by worrying about it?
Is the situation worth worrying about?
Will it be just as important a week, month or year from now?
Am I thinking realistically, or am I being led by fear?
Is there really such a big chance that what I’m afraid of, will happen? What other things could happen?
What is a positive and more realistic way to look at the situation?
What would I tell a friend that’s worrying about the same thing? - Share your worries. The problems that look unsolvable, not always are. A friend can give you a new perspective, come up with a solution or at least show some support.
- Some of us are really good at doomwatching, expecting the worst to happen. Think about what the worst thing is that could happen and put that into a wider perspective. Would it really be that bad? Make sure you could even be OK with the worst outcome, that way every outcome is OK. (Thus I have decided that if I never find a guy, I’ll be OK with having 14 cats and staying alone ;))
- Be nice to yourself. Give yourself pep talks. Make sure you are your own best friend and tell yourself it’s all ok, you’re doing the best you can and you’re good enough. It might not feel natural at first, but practice really works here. If we can talk ourselves way down, we can also talk ourselves up.
- Try to live in the now. Our worries are often about the past or the future, and worrying about them can be quite useless. Now, at this very moment, there’s often not that much going on you need to worry about. Mindfulness can really help by learning to live in the now, as can meditation.
- Try to remember that you’re good enough just as you are. Don’t have unrealistic or perfectionistic expectations from yourself. You don’t have to be able to do anything and everything, and you don’t have to do it all perfectly. Go for good enough. It’s OK to make mistakes.
- Listen to your intuition and trust yourself. Are you worried about whether you’re doing well or going in the right direction? Often, deep inside, we already know the answer to that. Try to listen to what your heart tells you and do whatever feels good, that can bring you further than you might think.
- Organise. A messy life and messy house can cause a lot of worries. Don’t let life live you, but live with intention. Think about what you want and take steps in that direction. You don’t have to be perfect to everyone all the time. Taking control over your life and your time will tackle at least some worries. Have a realistic schedule and let go of other people’s expectations.
- Face your fears. Take a leap of faith every now and then. Worries and fears can block us, make us get stuck, but sometimes you just have to try and take a leap. Just experience it. Don’t try to let fear rule your life.
- A few things to remember:
– Everything will be OK in the end. Even if things don’t work out the way you wanted them to. Accept.
– You will not solve problems by worrying about them. The only thing that does is get in the way of your luck.
– Every experience transforms you into who you are. Eventually you’ll be a wiser person.
– Everything is temporary, and time will always go on. Even your worries will pass.
– Challenges make you stronger, wiser and more stable.
– Everybody worries, there’s nothing wrong with you.
– Worries tell you something about what you value in life. Use that in a positive way.
I hope you’ll find this helpful! If you have your own tips to tackle those worries, do share them in the comment section!
