Debate Magazine

10 Things Hillary Was Thinking When Osama Was Shot

Posted on the 16 May 2011 by Juliez

Osama Bin-Laden’s death a week ago has caused speculation, excitement, relief, concern, and yet another totally uncalled for hyper-examination of Hillary Clinton’s body language. This time it’s not her cleavage or her tearing up…it’s her hand.

A photo of the situation room released shortly after the raid on Osama Bin-Laden’s compound has everyone talking about our Secretary of State’s hand—was she gasping? Stifling an allergy-related cough? Showing signs of feminine weakness? Hillary’s position in the photo has been scrutinized more than anyone else’s (big surprise), including Joe Biden, who is holding a rosary.

I haven’t heard any murmurs about Biden’s position (was he clinging to religion? Feeling nervous? Feeling regret?), but all anyone can talk about is Hillary’s “gasp” and what it “means.” So, for all the talking heads and newspaper editors spending hours analyzing the weight of her pose, let me save you some time, and do the grasping at straws for you. Here are ten things Hillary Clinton might have been doing:

1) Gasping, because she is an elderly, weak woman who feels feeble at the thought of blood.

2) Coughing, because Hillary’s such a cold hearted you-know-what that in the height of a violent moment, all she does is cough out of boredom.

3) Smelling her breath, because Hillary’s a lady and ladies cares about being minty fresh.

4) Realizing she left the iron on at home.

5) Subtly picking her nose.

6) Stroking her mustache. (Everyone knows that a woman like that must have a pretty high level of testosterone)

7) Strategizing for her next Presidential campaign. She’s such an opportunist.

8 ) Still depressed over the cancellation of All My Children. Women love soap operas.

9) Sucking her thumb. What a baby.

10) Why does it matter?

Maybe newspapers just should have run this photo.

Originally posted on Fiona’s blog, a subset of Rachel Simmons’ website.

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