10 Most Annoying Fandoms

Followers of SuperMarcey.com may remember (many moons ago) a feature about the groups of fans that…well…we could do without. Some time has passed, some new fandoms have risen and the term ‘Fandom’ has become commonplace so it’s time for an update. This isn’t a reflection on the source of their fanaticism, plenty of great movies and shows here. We’re fans of many of them here at the House. You may not like seeing yourself on this list, but odds are we’re right there with you.

#10 – Sherlockians/Supernatural

It’s not surprising that fans of Sherlock have cropped up in such large numbers, the show is a masterpiece of the medium. It is kinda odd that so few of them have extended this interest to reading the original stories, but that’s another issue. What gets annoying about this group is their fascination with Holmes and Watson being romantically involved. This gets used as a joke in the show on a few occasions, so they’re not breaking new ground with this concept – just driving it into the ground on tumblr. So many, many gifs…

Worse still are the Supernatural fans who have recently decided that the two main characters should hook up. Last time I checked they were brothers, right?

#9 – Twihards

Twilight fans share a similar trait with Star Wars fans in that they’ll blindly defend any crap that gets slapped with the Twilight label regardless of quality. The books, let’s face it, aren’t the travesty of fiction that people claim they are. The movies, however, are pure craptastic woeful disasters.

There’s no reason they couldn’t have worked but the studios were in such a hurry to capitalise on the fad that they pushed ahead with the productions at the detriment of quality. In order to prove themselves ‘true’ fans, Twihards will flat out refuse to acknowledge any fault, going out of their way to make excuses on its behalf.

Just as annoying are the Twilight haters. The first complaint they ALWAYS bring up is that sunlight doesn’t kill Edward because “like, if they’d read a PROPER vampire novel like Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ they’d totally know that the sun makes vampires burst into flames”. News flash, dumbasses: if you’d actually read ‘Dracula’ you’d know that the sun doesn’t kill him either – merely weakens his powers. So read a book.

#8 – Japanaphiles

Guess what, white people? It’s OK to like things that originate in cultures different from your own. In this day and age it’s actually normal behavior. I totally ate Italian food last night. I am not, however, dressing in clothes with Italian writing on it, gelling and dying my hair to look like an Italian cartoon character, nor am I generally aping a culture I have little connection with in the manner that a parrot mimics speech without know the meaning of the words.

Yes, you want people to think of you as ‘quirky’ or ‘weird’ or a ‘paedophile’, but you could try and do something unique instead of plastering yourself with another culture’s stereotype like one would plaster their school binder with stickers. This behavior is at worst offensive to the people of Japan and at best makes you look like a fat, badly dressed pasty white person with no self awareness. Either way, you should stop doing it.

#7 – Comic Book Accuracy Police

Me, I love comics. And I love a good comic book movie. And if the film-makers feel that the movie would be improved by making some alterations to the story and characters, that’s also fine.

But there are some people out there for whom this isn’t fine. In fact, this is nothing short of sacrilege. (It’s also a way for them to spout off about their impressive knowledge on comic books – and they have to live with that, so let’s not give them a hard time.) Sometimes these people just need to chill their grills and accept that these changes need to be made.

Complaining that Galacticus was a space cloud in Fantastic Four 2 instead of a giant man in a purple helmet makes you look like a twat. Picking out details from Wolverine concerning his frequently rewritten back story also makes you look like a nonce. Why? Because these movies are bloody awful in their own right.

#6 – Slash Writers

Yeah, yeah, I know…Rule #34, no exceptions…that doesn’t mean that I can’t comment on them for being weird. Not that everyone who writes erotic fiction featuring established characters is an oddball, but there are some really off putting stuff (examples will follow). Those unfamiliar with the term: Slash Fiction is an off-shoot from fan fiction, except with the focus on sexual exploits, usually homosexual in variety. And for some demented reason this trend has really taken hold in the Harry Potter fan base.

I don’t know what kind of person looks at the on screen rivalry between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy and decides to write a series of novels about them getting down and dirty with each other, complete with photoshopped images to go with it, but I’m pretty sure that kind of person can be classed as a deviant. These are people who felt that Capt. Picard should shag Elrond. Fred and George Weasly are well suited to a threesome with a member of N*Sync. Indiana Jones hopping in the sack with Lord Voldemort. These stories are all real example.

There can be something funny about some of the scenarios dreamt up by these writers (Edward and Jacob was a given), but the massive amount of time, effort and dedication people have thrown into these demented, badly spelt paragraph free fantasies is mind-boggling.

#5 – Browncoats

Firefly is without a doubt one of the greatest TV shows ever made. Perfect mix of characters, and imaginative setting and snappy writing. And it is well past time to let it go. If, from the debut of the pilot episode, you watched one episode per year you would’ve run out by now. As much as we all wanted it to continue, and some impressive efforts were made to bring it back, it’s simply not going to happen. Let it go.

#4 – Shippers

If you don’t know the term then run. Run away now. Somehow these people can be more disturbing than the Slash writers. People who proudly use the term ‘Shipper’ or ‘Ships’ are referring to hypothetical fictional relationships they want to see play out. And when they latch onto one they will never, ever budge on the belief that these two fictional characters should be together. It may be a coupling that makes no sense – crossing boundaries of gender, sexuality and species.

The term became widespread in relationship to the growing Harry Potter fanbase online. They’d spend endless hours debating which characters should wind up with who. Ok, debate isn’t the right word – they would staunchly claim that Malfoy and Hermione would be perfect together and flat out refuse to acknowledge any logical argument against it. At this point it should be noted that most of the people doing this have got pubic hair – and when you have pubic hair you shouldn’t be discussing the romantic lives of children.

#3 – Whovians

To my fell0w Whovians, I’m afraid I have some bad news. Some of us are starting to put people off. When a group of fans are acting like such obsessive lunatics that people are less likely to try the show then we’ve gone astray. So let’s clear a few things up.

You do not personally know Steven Moffat. It’s all but impossible to hold a conversation about Doctor Who this year (for those not in the loop we’re expecting some big secrets to be revealed) without predictions being made, often backed up with “people who know Moffat can see that coming”. You don’t know Moffat, and dropping his name just makes you sound snobbish. For most fans the closest we’re going to get to Moffat is reading his name on the screen. One thing people haven’t been able to grasp is that Moffat looks at the show as a big picture, everything tying in together. He doesn’t pull a Shyamalan.

Also, stop resisting change. Any change to the Doctor Who mythology, tone or character is met with furious anger and righteous indignation. Firstly, the show has been running for fifty years, if they didn’t mix things up every now and then you’d have grown bored a long time ago. Secondly…it’s Doctor Who! The lead character has changed his appearance and personality ten times so far and he’s had forty-seven different companions pass through the TARDIS.

Finally – adding a picture of the Doctor to something does not equal comedy.

There isn’t any actual joke here.

#2 – Bronies

At first it almost seemed as though they were doing it ironically. My Little Pony was created during the 1980s as the definitive show made to appeal to the young girl demographic. When the show was rebooted in 2010 under the moniker My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic it attracted a cult following of older male fans. Before long it became clear that these fans were not being ironic or participating in a strange fad but sincere fans of a show. What drew the attention of the public was that this group of fans were so far removed from the intended demographic, something that they should feel emasculated by, but taking ownership of it. They even got a shout out from Stephen Colbert and started to become accepted. It could even be seen as a statement against gender stereotyping. Four thousand people attended the convention last year, most of them in costume.

Then they started with the porn. No, I’m not going to look it up and provide pictorial evidence but it is out there. People have drawn pictures and written stories about their favorite characters doing it horsey style. Putting aside the fact that we are talking about cartoon animals who walk around nude and clearly don’t have genitals, you’re sexualising something that is intended for children. No, I don’t think having a rainbow mohawk makes a winged cartoon horse a lesbian, I think it makes her a winged cartoon horse with a rainbow mohawk. This kind of behavior is making people uncomfortable.

We also have the Bronies who have mistaken this title with a personality trait. As the endlessly entertaining okcgoldmine tumblr demonstrates there is a surprising number of men who begin describing themselves with ‘I’m a Brony’ and then go to on to explain that wearing a fedora is their ‘trademark’ (obviously they haven’t discussed this matter among themselves, or they’d know that they all had the same trademark). I’ve never seen anyone posting that they’re a Trekkie or a Whovian – just Bronies. On second thought, since this is a dating site it might be best to get it out of the way early. Avoid the surprise.

#1 – Stars Wars Fanatics

Dear Star Wars Fans,

Please stop it.

Stop buying things associated with Star Wars, and stop defending the parts of the franchise that are crap.

Do this so we can have good Star Wars back again. From a production standpoint there’s no point investing time and money into a quality product if you know that it’s going to move copies and you have an audience who, instead of complaining about the shoddy product, will make excuses on your behalf. Take a look at the video games put out with the Star Wars brand – buggy and broken, but put on the market regardless. When I gave Star Wars: The Force Unleashed a poor review I was met with abuse. I was told that the broken parts of the game shouldn’t bother me if I was ‘better at the game and could play around them’ and that it was excusable because you ‘get to use a lightsaber’.

It’s not just video games of course. The once celebrated merchandise that formed an integral part of the experience have become an exercise in money making. A plastic lightsaber with a bulb in it was being flogged for $90 when The Phantom Menace was released. These things are supposed to be aimed at children – there can’t be many with that kind of scratch. Recent cinematic offerings include a C-Grade animated feature starring a camp slug thing and a LEGO movie. Not to mention the tacky looking renditions of the original trilogy that were released on Blu-Ray.

They get away with this because you let them. Every time you spend money on a second rate Star Wars product you are telling them that this is OK. So stop it. And maybe the next movie will be worthy.