(Some of these are OK to say if you are also a new mummy!)
1. "She has so much hair!" Oh really? I hadn't noticed, thank you Captain Obvious.
2. "Is she good?” Are any babies bad? I suppose they mean is she a bit of a whine, but who is actually going to say "No she is horrific, thanks for asking"
3. "I'm sure you really miss your sleep!" No I get plenty thanks, you patronising idiot.
4. "I'm sure you don't remember what you did with yourself before she came along!" Yes, I do. I sat on my butt watching a full episode of anything without interruptions...hardly a fulfilling day by any stretch of the imagination.
5. "How old is she?" That's a standard question, but what irritates me is when I tell people and they stare at my blankly because they aren't sure what a baby of that age should really be like.
6. "It's much harder to get out with a child, isn't it?" Not at all, unless you are extremely poorly organised. Put child in car seat, put nappies in nappy bag. Sorted.
7. "Oh hello, aren't you lovely?!" Cue them touching Izzy.Not technically what they say, but I don't know you, for all I know you are diseased, get your stinky hands off my beauty!
8. "Do you feed her?" No, I starve her. Those cheeks definitely look like she's never been fed. I assume they mean do I breastfeed, but that's a very different question!
9. "How do you spell that?" "I-s-a-b-e-l-l-e" "Oh that's an unusual spelling, isn't it?"Um, no actually, it isn't.
And the thing which annoys me most...
10. "What's she called?" "Isabelle" "Isabella?" Did I say Isabella?! No! Then it's NOT FLIPPING ISABELLA! Even worse if they then have the nerve to say "Oh that's unusual." No, again, it's not!
I know I sound like a total grump, who is extremely touchy and probably a bit bananas, but I did warn you I have a very low tolerance for other adults...
