Expat Magazine

1 (And Only) Thing To Do In Phuket

By Harvie

So I haven’t posted on my blog for over a month and my last blog post got this comment by someone called Nico:

Mate what the fuck is happening to your blog? Posting once a month and coming out with this boring garbage!

First of all I ‘apologize’, I’m sorry that I’m going out of my way to provide everyone with free information with the occasional cheeky up sell of my products (here and here) that are hardly worth anything in the first place.

I should be doing more things for free asides from hosting this blog and posting over 200+ pages of content, replying to most emails and helping people out. Forgive me Nico!

Back on topic, this week I want to talk about Phuket and the 1 thing you should do.

1. Visit Suzie Wongs Go Go

I recently spent 7 days in Phuket on holiday with friends, I’ve been living in Thailand for just over 4 years now and this is the second time I’ve visited Phuket (can you see where this article is going?).

4 years ago Suzie Wongs was great, and 4 years later it’s still great. You can get beers from 99b, all the girls are slim, friendly and the atmosphere is perfect.

I’m not a Go Go or beer bar person but I would go as far to say that Suzie Wongs in Patong is by far the best go go bar in Thailand. Everything from the girls to the service is great.

  • Pro trip: there are 2 Suzie Wongs Go Go bars on Bangla Road, you want to go to the original one called “Suzie Wongs”, here’s the sign for it:

suzie wongs

What else is there to do in Phuket?

In my opinion, nothing.

I started off the holiday staying in Kata. This was were I stayed 4 years ago, the beach then was clean and there was very few people. Fast forward 4 years and the place is littered with Russian couples and while the sea water is clear, the beach itself has gotten dirtier.

Luckily I stayed here:


You can now see fag butts and rubbish littered as you walk across the beach. Prices have shot up ten-fold and you cannot find even street food for less than 100b+ without doing a serious walk.

It can get rather annoying to pay 500b each time you want to go 7km to Patong so me and my friend got a hotel in Patong for 2 nights.

During the day there is nothing to do asides from eating overpriced Thai food (150b+ for fried rice anywhere you go) or very bad western food at absurdly high prices.

The tourist part of Patong is strictly for tourists and the prices, food and the atmosphere reflects that. As soon as you step on the beach people are harassing you.

In a nuthsell, the tourist area of Patong is a total tourist trap and I hated every second of it.

My tips for anyone visiting Phuket

If you decide to stay in Patong, don’t leave your room before 9pm. The traffic, smell and hawkers will annoy you to no end. Don’t get me wrong, all them things will annoy you after 9pm too, but you should be getting drunk around then making everything more tolerable.

After 9pm Bangla Road is pretty fun, there’s lots of bars and clubs to visit and the place is total mayhem for anyone wanting to get pissed and meet some girls.

There’s a few Russian strip joints with hot Russian girls telling you to go inside (on the 2nd floor), avoid them at all costs unless you want to pay 500b++ for a beer and be harassed for tips.

If you want a peaceful beach holiday, go further south or skip Phuket all together and head to Krabi where things will be cheaper and way less annoying.

What do expats stay in Phuket?

I spent most of my time in the tourist areas of Phuket so take my comments with a pinch of salt, but I don’t get why expats would want to live in Phuket. Unless you have your own transport, getting anywhere takes a lot of time and money.

For example, an airport pickup to my hotel cost me 1,000b.  The same fare in Bangkok would be 300b. Starting prices anywhere is 200b, so if you want to go 500meters, it will cost 200b.

And if you do own a motorbike, good luck on your staying alive goals for 2016.

There’s also a lack of good food and restaurant options, very few gyms and western amenities. If you’re an expat living in Phuket, can you tell me some of the pros for living there?

Asides from clean air and a beach, I don’t really see why expats would want to live there.

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