Workin' 9 to 5....

Well not quite 9 to 5More like 8 - 4But you know what I meanOur hours had been cut last weekDue to the center being quiet mid weekBut I managed to pick up some extra hours this weekAs one of the girls is sickYesterday I was in by myself I was supposed to be working 8-12pmBut in actual fact I didn't get away until 3pmThere was just a lot to be done And I wanted to leave things in some sort of order Before I left I was chatting to Georgina in the office I said to her that I felt like I was forgetting to do something She told me not to second guess myself To be confident that I have done everything to a high standard But even so I was reluctant to leave without checking every thing And actually When I got home I started to worry that I hadn't turned the gas off And texted Georgina to check Of course I had But still Better safe than sorry I couldn't live with myself if I had inadvertently caused an accident at work But anyway All was well And I did my best to leave everything spic and spanI didn't even stop to eat So i know I worked hard Before I left Georgina asked me if I had seen one of the interviewers for my job on Monday His name is JohnAnd he was one of the panel that interviewed me back in FebruaryApparently he called in to the center this weekBut I don't remember seeing himAnyway He obviously saw meAs he said to Georgina that I was a different woman They was nice to hear She also said that back at my interview I looked quite unwellI remember it so clearly I was going to wear a great jacket to the interview But my mam said I looked too thin I it So I had to find something else All along Georgina has said that the center will be good for me And I will be good for the centre It's so true I am loving work And it has done me the world of good I couldn't ask for more 
As I said I was in on Monday morning for one of the girls I was chatting to the chef He is a young man The same age as me H was telling me that he had hurt his back playing golf And also that his chest was sore I was telling him that he should go to the doctor But like a typical man He wouldn't In fact at 9am I ran over to my own doctor To collect my script The chef asked me if I mind going to the doctor I said I didn't And in fact I had to go every weekHe asked why And I knew I had talked myself in to corner For some reason I'm not quite sure why But I ended up telling him that I had a drug problem years agoAnd that I was on a methadone programmeHe reacted quite wellAnd seemed very curious Asked me questions I get on with this guy pretty wellSo I didn't feel uncomfortable telling him He said he wouldn't tell anyone And I believe himAlthough afterwardsI worried that I had been a bit too honest But look I'm open about my past I have nothing to hide And it's not like i am going around broadcasting it I told one person Anyway It's done now You can't unring a bellI don't worry that he judged me He is not like that And anyway If he talks I'll know he broke my trust And I won't risk telling anyone else 
I'm back in work this evening Just four hours Which always flies by Then I'm back in tomorrow morning for hours Then an eight hour shift on SundaySo I'll have a very healthy pay check next week Which is always nice
Also Thank you all for your feedback on my last postI know I haven't been great at replying to commentsSo apologies for thatBut no I'm not going anywhere This blog And my friends here mean too much to me Even if our community is shrinking There are still plenty of us to keep it going Even if no one reads My blog is still a personal record for myself A diary of sorts And of course I always write in the hope that my blog can help someone else in a similar situation Because as you know My life has been quite eventful And I am coming out the other side of my illness and issues There is one thing that always sticks in my mind Something my psychiatrist wrote in a letter once That I have a 'chronic eating disorder'And 'severe and enduring mental illness'I can remember reading that and thinking That's not me That must be about someone else The words chronic And severe and enduring just sounded so hopeless These are words that have never left me And being my stubborn self Wanted to prove that doctor wrong Now I am I've managed to claw back in a few months, everything that I lost in the previous 15 years As I often say As quickly as things can go wrong They can also turn around just as quick It is just so so important to keep hoping and believing that things can get better To keep fighting for a better life For you and your family Because for every person that has a mental health issue or addictionThere is a whole group of family and friends that are suffering tooOften in silence So If you think you can't go own If recovery seems like something out of reach Please know that it is possible I promise you that You have just got to keep holding on It will pay off And you will get better Look at me I thought I would never get wellAnd now I am the best I've been in a long time It is possible Recovery can happen It's there You just have to reach out and grab it