Humor Magazine

What, Exactly, is 'HillBilly' up To?

By Davidduff

Incidentally, whilst referring mainly to Hillary Clinton, I link the first names of her and her spouse because I suspect that despite all the blood that has flowed under their particular bridge they still remain grappled together as a couple and their joint dynastic and political ambitions easily sweep aside multiple infidelities.  She has begun her run for the presidential election in 2016 but the first few months of it have been eccentric, not to say, bizarre.  She began by offering her enemies a club with which to beat her by uttering that unfortunate and chilling quote at the Benghazi massacre hearings:

“What difference, at this point, does it make?”

How many times will that feature in Republican TV ads?  Then she launched herself on a book tour to promote a tome allegedly written by her but which quickly ended up on the 'remainder' tables in almost every American bookshop.  The tour itself was a mini-disaster with several glops and glitches on her part which again have been seized on by her opponents.  Then, in the last few days she launched a vitriolic attack on Obama's foreign policy which was a bit rich seeing as she was his Secretary of State for four years!  So vicious was the attack that a hasty peace conference supper party had to be arranged between the Clintons and the Obamas at the rich man's playground, Martha's Vineyard, where America's wealthy radical socialists love to holiday!  It ended, if not with a foursome sex party, then with smiles and photos and multiple 'mwaa-mwaas' all round.  All about as convincing as a blancmange replica of the White House!

HillBilly's strident call for what R. Emmett Tyrrell calls in The American Spectator,  her new "neocon foreign policy" is something of a surprise to everyone:

Now just last weekend she has made the final leap. She is a neoconservative. She derided Obama’s, dare we call it, foreign policy doctrine, “Don’t do stupid s---”? Said she, “Great nations need organizing principles, and ‘don’t do stupid stuff’ is not an organizing principle.” How very neocon! She sneered at Obama’s “failure” to supply the Syrian rebels. She spoke in tough terms toward Iran and took up the cause of the Israelis against Hamas. All Obama could do is play a couple of rounds of golf, hit the beach, and head off for a fundraiser.

This has caused consternation inside the Democrat party which, like political parties everywhere, is actually a coalition of groups with very different outlooks.  What I might call the 'Really Left' are aghast at 'HillBilly's words.  Support from them to her has always been lacklustre but they have kept schtum on any direct criticism not least because of the failure of any true Leftie to run against her.  However, much more of that Obama-bashing could change things quite quickly.  Aaron Goldstein, also in The American Spectator, finishes his brief commentary with some dry humour:

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren is smiling.

She, of course, is otherwise known as 'Fauxcahontas' and is a true soppy socialist with the brains of a microbe!  She is the darling of the 'Really Left' but has spent the past six months telling the world that she has no plans to run - which is about as reliable as her claim to be a Commanche, or a Sioux, or whatever it is.  I reckon that if 'HillBilly' continues to upset the Lefties then 'Fauxcahontas' will run against her and thus satisfy my erotic longings for the political equivalent of women wrestling in mud!

Some Leftie blogs are wondering why 'HillBilly' is making all this trouble for herself and her party?  Why, they ask, doesn't she just sing from the usual hymn sheet and keep everybody on the Left happy?  My, admittedly unique, theory is that 'HillBilly' detests the Democrat party.  They did little to stop Republican attacks on Bill when he produced that, er, stain on his character - and Monica's dress.  Then, when it was 'her turn' to run for the White House, the party ditched her for some totally unknown 'community organiser' who, it now transpires, is incapable of organising a piss-up in a brewery!  One always gains the distinct impression with 'HillBilly' that no slight is ever forgotten and a constant seach to wreak revenge is very high on her list of priorities.

Roll up, roll up, the women's mud-wrestling competition is about to begin!


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