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Tube May Transport You From L.A. To San Fran In Less Time Than It Takes To Remember You Left The Fridge Open In L.A.

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Earlier today, Elon Musk unveiled “alpha” details of how a “Hyperloop” transportation system, that uses solar power, could transport people via tubes from Los Angeles to San Francisco in about 35 minutes.

That’s a much shorter distance than an earlier report that said the tubes might take people from NYC to LA in 45 minutes.

3 New Questions That Arise From This Story

1. “Wait a minute, this thing can get people from LA to San Francisco faster than they can drive from LA to Anaheim?” Yes, we wondered that ourselves. Who are you trying to fool, “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim?” We think a better team name would be “Los Angeles Angels of the Place That’s Not In Los Angeles County, But Is In Orange County, But We Doubt You’ll Find Oranges Growing In Our Stadium, Either.”

Tube May Transport You From L.A. To San Fran In Less Time Than It Takes To Remember You Left The Fridge Open In L.A.

This place is about as physically close to Los Angeles as the fourth-place Angels are to the first-place Dodgers in the standings right now.

2. ”Wait a minute, this thing can get people from LA to San Francisco faster than they can drive 101 feet on the 101 through LA on a Saturday evening?” This seems impossible! Is this why this transport system is still in the “alpha” stage and your kids are trying to jam their heads through paper towel tubes to help make it to the beta stage?

3. “Wait a minute, I don’t understand how this technology works – how can I trust it?” You can answer that question as soon as you explain how giant pieces of metal fly through the sky. Or for you smarty-pilot or engineering pants out there, you can read the full report, and learn that it kinda works like air hockey. Which we interpret as meaning your kid with the paper towel roll on their head will hit the puck at just the right angles to easily beat you (and whisk you to San Francisco) every time.


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