Current Magazine

Time To Gawk At The Ol’ Business Plan For A While…

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

As we wrote last week, Gawker was seeking $200,000 from readers to buy an alleged video of Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford allegedly smoking crack.

Canoe news reports, they’ve raised the money! Let’s get the popcorn ready, along with some children (to teach what not to do in life!)

Oh wait, stop the popcorn presses! Gawker admits they’ve lost contact with the owners of the video. Why could that be? Let’s look at Gawker’s explanation:

“As we mentioned when we launched the campaign, folks who are involved in the crack trade tend not to be the most reliable people in the world. This has proven to be the case when it comes to the owner of the video of Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine.”

Canoe reports Gawker is willing to wait a month to attempt to buy the video before they will give the money to charity. Since as far as we can tell from its site, Gawker has a sense of humor, which includes making fun of the misfortune of others, here are:

3 Things Gawker May Want To Make Fun Of While It Waits

1. Its own business plan. Which seems to be doing business with “folks” who are “involved in the crack trade” and expecting results! That would be like the people of Toronto expecting results from their mayor if he really uses crack!

2. The Soul Asylum Song – “Somebody To Shove.“ Because the lyrics are about waiting by the phone. Apparently based on the title, they are waiting for somebody to shove. We don’t quite know how that transaction would work. Do they expect to shove the person calling them through the phone? That’s impossible and the wrong direction! Pull the caller through the phone receiver!

3. The remake of the movie “When A Stranger Calls.” If you’re home alone and the police tell you the killer is calling from inside the house, get out of the house! And if a stranger calls and tries to sell you a crack video, remind them if you are on the “Do Not Call List.” Because all the hassle may not be worth 280,000 page views on your “Crackstarter Update” page, which is what we assume the flames on Gawker’s site stand for. And not for a “hot” news tip about crack going up in smoke!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog