The World’s Top 10 Funniest Legal Blunders
Listed below are ten of the top legal blunders made by either lawyers or witnesses during US court trials. The following are real extracts taken from official court records. I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But maybe also something incredibly stupid….
The World’s Top 10 Funniest Legal Blunders
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10 – Diagnosis: Death
Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
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9 – A Crime of Fashion
Lawyer: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
8 – You can choose your family but not your lawyers…
Lawyer: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
Witness: She is my daughter.
Lawyer: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
7 – Picture Perfect
Lawyer: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
Witness: That’s me.
Lawyer: Were you present when that picture was taken?
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
6 – If you go down to the woods today…
Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Witness: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
5 – A Matter of Life and Stupidity
Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me’
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Witness: No
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4 – Till Death Do Us Part
Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?
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3 – Crash!
Lawyer: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
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2 – Something Spooky
Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
1- Age before IQ
Lawyer: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.
Although there are a wealth of reputable legal firms out there, from Baker& McKenzie to Gullands, these quotes highlight that it is not just important to find a reputable lawyer, but also one that is qualified to practice with common sense.
