Community Magazine

The Golden Ager’s Three Minute Limit

By Friday23

They have installed secrete cameras in the streets in this town in an attempt to nab double parkers and other traffic offenders. If you stand still for more than 3 minutes you are photographed and called to court to be sentenced. I was caught in this unfair trap and I landed up in the traffic court.

The judge said, “Is this your car?”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied.
“How old are you?” he asked, peering at me.
“I turned 87 some months ago, sir,” I replied.
“Well, you are old enough to know the rules. No double parking. $200 fine.” He slammed his gavel down on the table top.
“But Sir!” I yelled. “Sir, I wasn’t parked. I saw my friend Sam walking along the sidewalk. I pulled over to ask him if he felt like joining me for coffee.”
“That takes 10 seconds.”
“Sam doesn’t hear all that well, so I had to call him a few times, Sir. He still didn’t hear so I pulled up the brake, put the gear into park and got out the car. I forgot the seat belt in my hurry and I got caught up in it. Then when I was finally out of the car Sam was already in the next block. If you look at the next picture, Sir, you will see that I have moved to catch up with Sam.”
“And then, what?”

“I yelled to him but he is pretty deaf, Sir. He’s 89 already. So I got out the car again and the same thing happened.”
“What same thing was that?”
“The seat belt thing, Sir. Sir, I cannot do all those things in 3 minutes. I need 5 minimum!”

“I’ll let you off this time. If I see you or your picture in my court again you are going to jail! Understood?”
“Yessir!”
“Get him out of my court! 87 years old and he drives a car! Bah!”


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