The Bullet Points

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

It’s time once again to wake Rants up way too early. deny him his coffee and bacon, and throw today’s headlines at him to get his take on the top stories. Did I mention that we have to wear one of those protective suits that attack dogs practice on? Did I mention we all have to leave the office and lock the door behind us? Did I mention the SWAT Team is put on alert?

It’s not pretty, yet we all suffer to produce comic gold for you.

Remember that!

1.) Ohio student points finger like gun, is suspended

Rants: Because there’s nothing like a good, healthy overreaction to pointless shit… ‘Murrica.

2.) Sun, Mars, Earth to align in rare cosmic event

Rants: Which someone will use to explain global warming, the 9-11 Conspiracy, and all of Congress’ recent successes. Word has it a major Hollywood production company will make a 15-picture…

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