The Action Hero Lists

Action Heroes Favorite Weapons…

1) Guns

2) Knives

3) Humor

4) Dynamite/bombs

5) Box Office Receipts 

 

Why Action Heroes Would Not Make Good Car Wash Attendants… 

1) They tend to crash cars

2) They tend to blow up buildings

3) They tend to not hold jobs long

4) They tend to blow up cars too

5) They tend to hate their boss

 

Top 5 Animals Action Heroes Hate…

1) Snakes

2) Sharks

3) John Malkovich

4) Walruses 

5) Dogs

 

Things Action Heroes Like To Jump…

1) Cars

2) Bodies of Water

3) Canyons

4) The Leading Lady

5) Buildings

 

Songs Action Hero Like To Listen To…

1) Jump – Van Halen

2) Grenade – Bruno Mars

3) Cuts Like A Knife – Bryan Adams

4) Anything by Guns And Roses

5) We Don’t Need Another Hero – Tina Turner

 

Best Action Hero Choices…

1) Bruce Willis

2) Arnold Schwarzenegger

3) Harrison Ford

4) Steven McQueen

5) The Rock

 

Worst Action Hero Choices…

1) W.C. Fields

2) Bill Gates

3) The Drummer From Def Leppard

4) Grumpy Cat (from the internet)

5) Pee Wee Herman

 

A Sampling* Of The Best Action Movies…

1) Die Hard

2) Speed

3) Enter The Dragon

4) The Matrix

5) Terminator 2

 

Games Action Heroes Like To Play…

1) Risk

2) Solitaire

3) Hide And Go Seek

4) Beer Pong

5) London Bridges

 

A Sampling Of The Worst Action Movies (but you’ll watch them anyway)…

1) Point Break

2) Face/Off

3) Spider-man 3

4) Howard the Duck

5) Sharknado

 

Best Action Hero One Liners….

1) Yippie Ki Yay Mother Fucker! – Die Hard

2) Say Hello to my little friend!  - Scarface

3) I’ve come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubble gum! – They Live

4) Hasta-la-vista baby! – The Terminator

5) Always bet on black! – Passenger 57

 

Worst Alarm Clock Sounds For An Action Hero…

1) Bombs

2) Fresh Prince Of Bel Air Theme Song

3) Bad Guy Explaining His Plans

4) 60 Minutes TV Show Clock Ticking

5) Samuel L. Jackson Reading Dr. Suess’ Hop On Pop

 

Why I Would Not Make A Good Action Hero….

1) I don’t look good in a wife beater

2) I can’t decide on a cool looking logo

3) I’m lazy

4) My catch phrase is, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

5) I need to eat. You never see action heroes eat.

 

*I said sampling, I did not mean these were the only ones!