Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays

Title taken from the popular Boom Town Rats songIn fact I do like Mondays It may even be my favorite day of the weekLet me explainAs you knowMonday is doctor dayWhich means I've had no meds since Saturday As greedy guts addict over here overused on a couple of occasionsSunday is a long day with no medsNo little sleeps to break up the dayNo chance to opt out Or check off the planet for a whileBy Monday morningI can feel the withdrawal setting inI can feel it in my bonesThe yawning starts Why it always starts with yawning I do not knowThere must be a reason But I don't know what it isThen my nose and eyes start to run Usually I have my meds before it gets any worseGod forbid would it get any worse
So I made my way in the my doctor todayMy usual doctor is away for a couple of weeksSo I got to see Nice Woman DoctorWho I really likeShe calls me in to her roomBig smile on her faceI settle on the seatShe tells me I look wellI balk at hearing thisAs I always doBut manners prevail And I smile and thank herShe asks me how life isThe first thing that pops in to my head is the incident last ThursdayBut I decide that she doesn't need to know thatAnd I tell her life is goodThat I am starting a course in septemberShe asks me if its good to have my sister homeShe knows my sister as she sees her tooI tell her it is Which is trueShe also asks me if I am still bloggingI tell her I am Touched that she remembered She carefully writes my scriptsI thank her And leave
I go and collect my medsThen go to meet my mom who is walking the dogsI get to my carAnd take my daily doseDetermined to get back on trackAnd take them properlyI know I need to get this under controlI have spoken to Mary about it in the pastAnd she has told my doctorWho then put me on daily dispensingThat works As I have no temptation in the houseSo when I have a weak momentThere are no meds to takeBut he usually only leaves me on DD for a couple of weeksAnd then it's back to normalGetting weekly dispensing
I know I need to get this under controlEspecially if I want to start my courseAnd stay clean and soberAs right nowI don't really think I can claim I am clean and sober Being clean sober means not using mind altering substances Living in realityLiving life on life's termsNot using meds or dugs to escape feelings Being compos  mentis And I am definitely not doing that
In my defence These meds are prescribedAnd I am supposed to take themBut in reality I am not supposed to take a double or triple doseHell even a single dose is too much sometimes It does not a clean and sober life make
I've stopped telling the professionals that I abuse my medsI don't really see the point anymoreI talk about it at meetings from time to timeBut in realityI don't know if I want to stop
Despite being ok with the way things areI have taken steps to help myselfLast week I called in to my local dog kennels and groomersTo see if they had any work going for the summerDisappointingly they couldn't take me on due to high insurance costsSo I tried the pizzeria I used to work inHe said he would ring me if anything came upAnd he seemed glad that I called inSo hopefully that will work outI  think having a bit more structure in my day will help with the addiction side of thingsAt least I hope it willTime is going so fast at the momentThe weeks just seem to fly byAs does my life If I am not careful I will wake up an old womanAnd my life will be over I guess I need to find a passionOutside of writing and bloggingI don't have a lot of hobbiesBut I am so grateful to have blogging in my lifeThree years later and I enjoy it more than ever I write every dayIt may not always be riveting stuffBut it's part of my daily routineBlogging has saved my life And my sanity over and over againIt's been such a force for good in my life I don't know where I would be without itand you special ladiesSo thank you for that
I was wondering about youHow long have you been blogging?Why did you start?How does it benefit you?