Athletics Magazine

Now THAT Was Creepy (and Gross! Beware!)

By Brisdon @shutuprun

Before I get into what was creepy and why I want to point out something that I learned today. This is the most important thing in the news after Ebola and ISIS (not really, I’m just making light of our dire world situation).

Remember in a post I wrote a couple weeks ago (8 Pet Peeves You May Have About Runners) where I talked about how I hate it when people don’t put the seat down in the porta potty?  There is actually scientific evidence behind why this is a good idea:

image

Tip: Don’t touch the seat. Put it down with your foot.

Now onto creepy. What you are all waiting for. If you get easily pukish and queasy from graphic things you might want to skip the rest of this post.

On Sunday Ken and I went for an 8 mile trail run at one of our favorite spots (Heil Ranch). It was about 8:30 a.m. It’s no secret that there are wild things on these trails (duh, it is the wilderness after all), but at this trail all we’ve ever seen are wild turkeys, deer and mountain bikers that smell like Axe (not ass).

We started running (and I started looking goofy):

photo

About a half mile in, we encountered this.

photo

Yeah. And, this 10 feet away (stomach and intestines – oh and a leg).

photo

Clearly Dateline needs to get in here and do a show:

It was early morning when they set out on the trail. A couple in their mid-forties just looking for some recreation.

All of a sudden they came upon a grisly scene. The couple felt they had no reason to fear…OR DID THEY???”

Ken promised me we had nothing to fear, but I did fear. Wouldn’t you?

We kept going and every chipmunk and leaf that fell from the tree almost made me shart myself. I kept trying to remember what I was supposed to do if I got attacked by a lion. Let the lion eat Ken? Scream and yell like a school girl? Offer it ribbon to play with? I relaxed the further into the run I got (mostly because I was too tired to keep worrying about some little kitty that might want to eat me).

As we came back down the trail there was a ranger taking pictures of the lovely carcass. All of this time I thought this was the work of a mountain lion. NO, the ranger said. It was a pack of coyotes. He knew this because apparently mountain lions drag their prey out of the open and bury/cover them so they can feast on them for several days. Coyotes just go to town where ever the hell they want.

Mean little suckers.

Anyone want to go on a trail run with me?

SUAR


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

Magazines