LA LA LA, I’m a New Age Psychic Guru! LA LA LA! I’m not listening to what you say or looking at things I don’t like! I will never use my “amazing abilities” to track down murders or criminals. I’m going to pretend that all the horrors taking place in the world aren’t real and call the tough people who try to protect us “meanies” and evil!
Oh, wait, evil doesn’t exist! NEVER MIND!
I’m going to write about angels, crystals, love and light while encouraging you to be completely selfish and irresponsible! It’s ALL ABOUT YOU! I’m going to tell you that babies aren’t really babies because you can’t see them in your womb and how the souls of vulnerable children just “understand” that you need to kill them for convenience! And I’m going to label anyone who calls my consciencelessness into question, evil!
Oh, wait, evil doesn’t exist! NEVER MIND!
I’m going to sell you delusional nonsense that says if you just think happy thoughts and plant some magic beans, you can be healthy, wealthy and wise! After all, what the fuck do we know, right?
I’m going to protect murders, with proven track records of horrible acts, because we need to “forgive them.” (Just don’t let them move into my neighborhood, okay?) I’m going to use the phrase “open-minded” as an assault on critical thinking and call all those who disagree with my duplicitous worldview close-minded bigots, racists and homophobes! After all, we should all do what feels good, as long as that doesn’t include living any traditional values! Especially Christian values, because we all know those fucking Christians are evil!
Oh, wait, evil doesn’t exist! NEVER MIND!
I’m going to deceive you into believing the kids are “resilient” and don’t actually need your time, attention or care. I’m going to tell you that you can sleep with as many people as you want and it’s okay; after all, we have SO MANY Soul Mates, if ya know what I mean? Huh, huh?
I’m going to help you escape who you are today, by showing you all of your “past lives” and abdicating you of all that nasty personal responibility and most of all, obligation to the people around you! After all, we’ve all switch places in many lifetimes! You’re teenage daughter was your mother lastlife time so she can accept the responsibility for you this lifetime too…even though she’s only 13. She has soul wisdom, you know? And I’m going to label anyone who disagrees with me as evil!
Oh wait, evil doesn’t exist! NEVER MIND!
I’m going to glorify the most radical, militant feminists as role models for both genders! Oh, wait, gender is an artificial construct created by men! Uuuhmmm, role models for both “energies,” how about that? It’s cute and works, right? I’m going to praise radical feminists like Sandra Fluke, who is striving to tear down a religious school and make them pay the $9 a month for her birth control pills. Poor Sandra! As a matter of fact, maybe we should be paying for the birth control of prostitutes too? You know, the prostitutes that our weak, spineless, feminized men go see when we deny them sex?
I’m going to convince you that life is “a great cosmic journey of souls” with nowhere to go, nothing to do and no real purpose except to feel good in the moment! After all, we all know that life is an illusion and none of this really matters anyway! So what the hell, right? Grab a dooby and smoke it to your head!
Peace!
