Books Magazine

My Answers To “Literary Would You Rather” #5

By Robert Bruce @robertbruce76

Let’s get straight to the point.

Here are my answers to the literary would you rather game we played on Friday.

1)    Would you rather be remembered like Ernest Hemingway (prolific novelist who battles depression and alcohol, kills himself) or remembered like Harper Lee (who only wrote one novel, To Kill A Mockingbird, never wrote again, and lives a presumably quiet, peaceful life)?

This one was too easy, I guess. I’d go with Harper Lee, no question. My point here was would you rather write a bunch of famous books and have a horrible personal life, or write one famous book and have a quiet, personal life? When that one book is To Kill A Mockingbird, you’ve got to go with Harper Lee.

2)   Would you rather have to learn how to write from your native language from right to left or have to learn how to speak fluent Chinese (assuming you don’t already speak fluent Chinese)?

Write right to left in English. It would be brutal, but re-learning how to write wouldn’t be as bad as learning Chinese.

3)   Would you rather write the famous novel or the famous screenplay based on the novel?

Another way to word this question: Would you rather be Anthony Burgess or Stanley Kubrick? I’d rather write the famous novel and then, justifiably I believe, get really pissed when the screenwriter changes the entire meaning of the story.

4)   Would you rather have this guy’s mullet for the rest of your life, or George Orwell’s child molester mustache the rest of your life? (See Friday’s post for photos)

This is a really horrible one. I think I’d throw caution to the wind and go with George Orwell’s mustache. That mullet—there’s just so much of it.

5)   Would you rather have an 80-hour-a-week job that makes millions but only allows you to read one book a month, or a 40-hour-a-week job that earns just enough to pay the bills but allows you to read as much as you want?

I’ll take the 40 hours and just get by. Those 80 hour-a-week jobs make you die early.

6)   What’s your least favorite genre of books? Now, would you rather have life in prison with the ability, and time, to read every book you ever wanted, or live as a free person but be forced to only read books out of your least favorite genre for the rest of your life?

Romance novels are my least favorite. But I need my freedom. I need to see my family every day, to listen to the rain, to go on a date with my wife every few weekends. I’d sacrifice my reading for that. I just couldn’t do prison, no matter how much they’d allow me to read.

If you missed out on the post Friday, feel free to chime in below and/or ridicule me for my answers.

Thanks for playing! We’ll play again in a few months!


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