Morning Smile

On this cold and damp morning I thought we could all use a little light hearted humour to start the weekend off.  This morning smiles come from Google and Facebook.  So many selections today I will try to cover them all.  Our smiles are care of a some really great sites Can U Still hear me? (Facebook) (May be considered offensive to some), Jokes, Funny, laughs and Quotes (Facebook) (Warning:  they are not very politically correct so if you are easily offended Do Not check this one out!), Endlines (Facebook), Love Quotes and sayings (Facebook) and Google.  I hope it puts a smile on your lips and your heart. Little Johnny came home one day and told his dad he had a tough day in math. “What happened?” asked his dad. “The teacher got mad at me.” Little Johnny grumbled. “What for?” his dad asked. “She asked me what 2 x 3 was. I told her 6.” … “Well, that’s right.” Said the dad. “I know.” Said Little Johnny. “But then she asked me what 3 x 2 was.”  ”Christ! It’s the same fucking thing!” Cried the father. “I know! That’s exactly what I told her,” huffed Little Johnny.:)   OMG LMAO !!!! I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’ And then the fight started….. OMG!!! Sorry for this not being politically correct but good naturedly funny. > www.lifelovequotesandsayings.com << ♥ ♥" src="http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/555425_312771915474578_151206238297814_715593_1059351359_n.jpg" class="aligncenter" height="403" /> The Best Divorce… … She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down on the floor in the dining room by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she w…ent into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp and caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She replaced the end caps on the curtain rods and cleaned up the kitchen. Then she moved out. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything from cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off poison gas, during which they had to move out for a few days. They even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her they were selling the house but did not tell the real reasons why. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea about the smell, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork for her to sign. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods. I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON’T YOU? Have a Great one everyone! Lucky