Meetings, Mary and Many Deep Breathes

As I am finding out90 meetings in 90 days is not as straight forward as you may thinkI was due to go to an evening meeting last nightBut then couldn't go as my meds had me quite sleepy And I didn't want to driveSo today is Day  3And I am going to go to two today to make up for yesterdayEven though I'm only back at meetings a short whileI can already feel the benefitsMy mood has liftedI'm not craving a drink or drugs My head is clearerThe committee isn't as loudI'm being more sociableAnd my family have noticed tooI'm not so moodyOr irritableDare I say itI'm behaving more like a normal person
Oh and I have some great newsI am seeing Mary today!She rang me last week to arrange an appointmentAnd I am super excited to see herFor those of you that don't knowMary is my ED therapistI saw her for three years before the funding for her job was cutBut thankfully she has now been reinstated in her positionAnd I for one am delighted to have her back in my lifeMary is by far the best counselor I have seenI've seen many over the yearsAnd most have tried to helpBut only a couple really managed to
No doubt Mary will weigh me todayWhich I am not looking forward toWhen I last saw herI was bordering on a healthy weightBut I'm sure that I look a lot different to the last time she saw meI just keep having to remind myself that I am of a normal healthy weightMy weight is stable at a BMI of 20And that is good
I still weigh myself every morningFor the last few mornings I've been bang on the same weightI am ok with itI'm not ecstatic aboutI would love to weight five pounds lessBut I accept this weightAnd I am not actively trying to change itBut stillIt will be hard to stand on another unfamiliar scale
In this countryWe are known for our drinkingThat's a stereotypeBut we do as a nation drink a lotHowever Over the last few years Another craze has taken offAnd that is fitnessIn all formsRunningWalking Jogging CyclingSpinning YogaPilates Cyclists regularly use our road And there are many  MAMILS( Middle aged men in Lycra)Now every where you look There are people kitted out in running gearThe colourful trainersTight black running leggingsHead bandsHatsAnd of course headphonesThey are everywhereI see them when I walk my dogs When I look out my windowBuying healthy food in the supermarketGoing in to/ coming out of the gymOh yesThis new breed of people are taking over
I'm not a huge fan of working out Only that I have two dogsI probably wouldn't walk every dayI tried running a couple of timesAnd hated every second of itI don't wear proper work out clothesAnd don't own a pair of trainers specifically for running When I walk I usually wear a track suit or jeansAnd my high topsI always feel over dressed as I pass all you lycra  loving ladies 
Why am I writing about this?I guess because I'm feeling the pressure to fit inTo swap my high tops for high preformence trainersAnd my comfy jeans for colourful LycraI feel the pressure to start joggingTo move more And eat lessI feel left out because I am not part of the 'fitness gang'
Years ago it was the trend to be super skinnyNow it seems to be all about getting healthy, strong and fit Which is more preferable to bring thinBut there is still pressure to conform I definitely feel itBut I know I have to be carefulAs my ED can take overAnd obsession kicks inI guess a lot of us have to watch thatIt would be nice to find a happy balanceTo exercise for enjoyment and healthAnd not to lose weight
I was wondering about youDo you feel pressure to exercise and work out?Have you ever like me battled exercise addiction?Do you exercise now?I'd love to know