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Man Could Have Had Incredible Return On 14-Year-Old Hamburger on eBay!

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

CNN reports that a Utah man found a 14-year-old McDonald’s mummified hamburger in his coat pocket, which he has since refused to sell to on eBay for $2,000 or to a radio DJ for $5,000.

The man paid $0.79 for the burger, so that would be over a 632,000% rate of return for something bought in 1999 before the dot com bubble crash! Look out, Warren Buffett, Omaha isn’t the only rural state full of awesome investors!

3 More Things The Man Could Consider Selling For $5,000

1. 60 Bottles of 14-Year-Old Whiskey. The man lives in teetotalling Utah, he should take what he can get! Especially since we’re guessing the whiskey is probably safer to consume than a rebellious, teenaged-hamburger. As Jim Cramer might say “Sell, sell, sell!”

The bigger question: is plastic a good investment?

The bigger question: is plastic a good long-term investment?

2. IKEA meat products filled with horse or the-opposite-of-elk or any-creature-not-on-the-label DNA! These items are rare to begin with. When was the last time you noticed food in the winding furniture maze of an IKEA store? And these food items in the news are becoming rarer by being recalled. That’s where we’d put our food-in-the-pocket-for-14-years investment money! Buy, buy, buy!

3. His soul. As we wrote last year, those things totally go for less than $2,000 on eBay, so $5,000 is a fantastic deal relative to an old burger. That said, souls are valuable for making proper decisions of which food items to buy or sell on eBay. Hold, hold, hold!


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