Imposter Syndrome is real. I know you know exactly what I mean, even if you didn't have the language for it until now. That feeling that you don't actually belong, that you aren't really qualified to be there, and that very soon someone is going to figure it out and kick you out of the club (or office, or friends group). Heck, I'm 43 years old and I'm still not certain I even get to be a "real" adult. Maybe I'm just pretending. Can you relate?
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to be a part of a panel discussion on imposter syndrome with some folks who are far smarter than I am. We began by sharing some of our own experiences and talking about just how common it actually is for most folks. Social media certainly hasn't helped matters as we get to experience in real time the "best lives" of those around us. It's all wonderful vacations, loving, romantic partners, incredible adventures, and smart, well-behaved children if our Instagram feeds are to be believed. Having those experiences juxtaposed against our frustrations, messy homes, and temper tantrums can make the best of us feel as though we are failing.
We need to talk about failure. In fact, we need to celebrate failure. We need to honor the lessons we learn from the mistakes we make, and the better versions of ourselves that emerge on the other side. Our humanity is fully embraced in our setbacks and failures. Having more realistic expectations of ourselves and those around us makes it easier for us to discuss the totality of our experiences. It makes it easier to ask for help when we need it. It makes it easier to be kind to one another. Life isn't a competition, despite all the messages to the contrary, and we all benefit from taking advantage of the opportunities to pick each other up, and lift others up with us.
I think about this idea a lot in the context of academia. We paint some mighty fine pictures of our experiences and accomplishments. Our CVs glow with our successes and accolades. We look for that we when read others' CVs, on a search committee, or when meeting a new colleague. Naturally, we compare ourselves to them, and we often come up short. We feel a sense of competition before we've even met.
I'm more interested in what you didn't put on your CV. What papers got rejected? What grant applications were denied? What teaching experiences went sideways? Every time we put ourselves out there, we are risking criticism and ridicule. Human beings are fickle beasts and their emotions can lead them in infinite directions. However, we still do it. We still try. We still believe in our work, in our ideas, in our ability. We wouldn't try if we didn't. We need to talk about those failures as openly as we talk about our successes. We need to celebrate them. Doing so gives us another window into ourselves and those around us. It brings us closer together .
