"Empathy is not agreeing and listening is not a betrayal of your cause."
I heard this quote several years ago and wrote it down. My apologies to the author, as the citation did not make it into my notes. However, the statement itself still stands out.
We live at a more polarized time in our society than at perhaps any other time in history. For every cause or idea, great or small, that we believe in, someone out there is quick to tell us they believe the opposite and then pontificate on why we are clearly wrong. Our social media feeds and news consumption has become more pundit than journalist, and we exist in a society where the idea of "fake news" allows us to call everything in question. We can no longer differentiate between fact and editorial. Most importantly, we've lost the ability to listen and show empathy.
Intrinsically, we know that when someone feels listened to, they are calmer, more rational, and more able to have a healthy dialogue. Think about the best customer service experiences you've had, or the best meetings with your boss. Did you feel heard? Did you feel like they genuinely cared about what you had to say? I'd venture to guess the answer is yes. Now, did they agree with you? Did you end up getting your way? I'm further willing to guess the answer is no. At least not always. That's not the point, though. The point is we have a chance to see someone as a human being and gain insight into why they believe what they believe. In the process, we likely learn more about why we believe what we do, even if that is not in agreement with the other person.
At the end of the day, all most of us want is to feel like we've been heard. Truly heard. Giving that small gift, from one human being to another, costs you nothing and certainly doesn't force you to change your own beliefs. It does, however, make someone else more likely to come to the table to talk, to cross the aisle. Until we open our ears and figure out how to do that again, the news cycle will continue ad infinitum. Yet another mass shooting. Yet another police murder. Yet another government shutdown. Yet another case of sexual misconduct.
