Humor Magazine

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

By Regectedriter @regectedriter

Day Two of Regected Halloween Week!

I love a good theme.

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Halloween Creature HERE to help me decide what to be for Halloween.

If you’re AWESOME and voted, you’ll notice that the option of Ghost is missing.  That is because it’s officially the first LOSER, which also means it’s my first costume:

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

Freakin’ terrifying, I know.

So people don’t like ghosts.  Shocking.  Well that means I won’t be a ghost for Halloween – so what will I be?!  Only you can decide.

Speaking of ghosts and a segway as smooth as butter,

It’s time for my latest Brain Wave – Interviews with Dead Playwrights, because the live ones won’t talk to me !  Using the newest and latest and most expensive technology of Beer and Imagination, I sat down with the Ghost of the Bard himself, Mr. William Shakespeare!

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

AG: Seriously? You knew this was the Halloween week and you couldn’t even put on a costume?

Bill: You look ridiculous

AG: Yeah, says the man with the frilly collar.  Seriously, clown much?

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

Billy Shakes:  Don’t do that to me. Do you know who I am?

AG: Uh yah, do you know who I am?

Billy Shakes: No

AG: Fair enough. Can I offer you some black licorice or candy corn?

Shakes: Sure, I love black licorice and that candy corn is amusing in shape and texture.

AG: You really don’t read this blog, do you?

Shakes: I’m WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

AG: Fine, fine. So Will,

Will: You may call me The Bard

AG: ….So Will, What made you decide to be a playwright?

Mister S: I couldn’t do anything else -

AG: AH YES! Being a playwright is a calling that surpasses all others, leaving you void of breath and full of words

Bill:  No really, I tried acting and I sucked so I wrote plays instead.  And then I got rich.

AG: You made money being a writer?

Shake Yo Mama: No, I made money being a Playwright.  And from writing the Sonnets. The Queen Looooved My Sonnets

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

Shakes: Yeah she did

AG: ….

The Bard: Put it in a metaphor, baby!

AG: …Too much candy corn?

Shakes: Too much candy corn

AG: All right, well, the real reason I asked you to be a part of this series is because you have a new movie coming out

Peare: Ugh, don’t remind me.

AG: And everybody wants to know-

Shakespeare: Listen. I probably wrote those plays, all right? I may or may not have put my blood, sweat and tears into each lingering word, which I  or somebody else probably  wrote by hand and with ink.

AG: What are you talking about? I wanted to know how it was working with Vanessa Redgrave

Shakespeare: You really focus on the wrong things, you know that?

AG: Oh, look, a butterfly!

Shakespeare: All right, I’m leaving

AG: NO WAIT! Can you give my readers some advice on Regection?

Shakespeare: You know you’re spelling it wrong

AG: We spell it like this around here.  It’s a whole thing. Please read my blog, William Shakespeare.

ShakeyShakes: Well, all I can say is Keep writing.  Because one day they’ll make a movie about you claiming another writer wrote all of your plays and it will all be worth it.

AG: WELL, that’s inspirational

Free Willie: Thanks.

AG: Do you have anything else to share?

Shakespeare: Just keep writing.  Never stop the words from flowing. And ah heck,

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare
AG: What are you supposed to be?

Shakes: I’m Zorro.

AG: Yeah but why the hat?

William: Yeah but why the sheet you little -

Interview with a Dead Playwright: William Shakespeare

 


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