Humor Magazine

If Hot Dog Vendors Become Obsolete, Will Foam #1 Finger Vendors Become #1?

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Yahoo Finance reports that stadium hot dog vendors may soon be obsolete, based on tests at places such as Yankee Stadium, where in a certain section you can use an app on your smart phone to order a hot dog.

Then a runner will bring you your order. Just not a baserunner, because this is the Yankees, not the Houston Astros, who could use extra cash delivering hot dogs between innings.

3 More Apps We’d Like To See In Baseball Stadiums

1. A Foul-Ball-Is-About-To-Hit-You App. For people too busy looking at their smartphones to document the in game experience (and soon order hot dogs) to notice a foul ball is about to hit them.

Krazee Hot Dog

Yeah, but can an app make your hot dog do this?

2. A Has-This-Player-Cheated App. Just point your smart phone camera at any player, and the app will tell you they’ve probably cheated. Hey, what did you expect? This is a sport where players knowingly witness umpires make bad calls, yet never seem to correct bad calls not in their team’s favor. Should you really be surprised when the same people are accused of using performance enhancing drugs?

3. A Has-My-Girlfriend-Cheated-On-Me-With-This-Player App. If it will really make you feel better, you can point the camera and use this app to analyze the Derek Jeter gift basket that your girlfriend brought home with here after working late all night. However, as reported by the NY Post, Jeter has been known to give these baskets to one-night stands, so this app won’t make you feel better, unless it puts the basket’s contents on eBay for you.


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