Say it aint so, Joe!
“You better get your head and your ass together or I will take a giant shit on you.” –Full Metal Jacket (1987)
The scandal involving the Houston Astros has been talked about more than all the Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories combined, and I’m just about to put it to bed with a lullaby and an Ambien. The waltz of the heart and mind just wont let me contemplate ostentatious behavior for too long before the disappointment of the inevitable keeps me looking elsewhere for a more positive spin on things. Baseball, with its cult of the masculine hero-worship all but cold and lifeless should think about robot players…never mind the umpires. We wont have to worry about self-centered, money hungry, skin-sack douche-bags–at least until the robots rise up and destroy us a la The Terminator.
Alas, no one really cares about baseball too much until football season is over and it looks like (at this point in time) former baseballer and pitcher Pat Mahomes’ son is going to showcase his unique skills in the Super Bowl. This is the time of year to huddle inside, watch some gridiron, avoid the cold, pound a few man-sodas and eat pounds of meat off the party tray after expertly picking around the gherkins and radishes. And with a shrug of the shoulders…you are dismissed.
