Hello Saturday!
Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:
May 3rd – May 9th 2015
This Is What Happens When You Forget To Put Extra Ketchup In The To Go Bag
A crazed (and probably hopped up on the drugs) man enters a restaurant and completely trashes the place. We are not sure why….
Maybe he got short changed…
Maybe they got his order wrong…
Maybe he asked for extra pickles and only got one….
Maybe he didn’t get his Happy Meal toy…
Who knows?!
The four restaurant employees try to reason with him before the cops show up and apply the taser. By the way…the taser does nothing at first. We are thinking because this guy was summing his Incredible Hulk skills. We can tell he is a big Avenger’s fan. Don’t ask how we can tell…we can just tell. (It’s his use of the ‘N’ word. Hulk was a big racist.)
Warning: Language
Warning: Restaurant equipment abuse
This Guy Has Should.rs On His Shoulders!
Speaking of the Incredible Hulk…
Romario Dos Santos Alves liked the Incredible Hulk. He liked the Incredible Hulk a lot. He liked the Incredible Hulk so much, he spent way to much time in the gamma ray machine.
Well, that’s what he should have done, but instead he injected his arms and back with a mix of oil and alcohol in order to look more like his idol.
The mixture worked and he gained 25 pounds of rock hard muscle…and by rock hard, we mean his muscles were actually turning into rock. Doctors were sure they would have to amputate his arms and quite possibly his brain for thinking that that was a good idea. Luckily, they didn’t have too. Romario Dos Santos Alves is doing fine today and instead of adding more muscle, he is currently only seeking to add more first names.
Warning: Popeye arms
Warning: Subtitles
AMC’s The Walking Stoner
Credit: Fox Atlanta
AMC’s The Walking Dead star, Seth Gilliam, who plays the annoying, back stabbing, scared-of-his-own-shadow, Rev. Gabriel Stokes, was arrested. He was charged with doing 107 in a 55 mph zone and possessing a marijuana cigarette. Police were going to let him go, but he refused to pass the dutchie on the left hand side. He is currently in jail, ripping pages out of a bible. There has been no comment from AMC or Gilliam.
Warning: 80’s Reggie
The Price Is Awkward
Warning: Uncomfortable moment of deciding if you are allowed to laugh
What’s the perfect prize for a woman with no legs? Why a treadmill and a stand up sauna of course! It is an unfortunate timing for the show on the big rotation of prizes…but come on! Did they not know ahead of time she was going to be called up?
We can hear the stage hands talking before the show:
Stage hand 1: Wouldn’t it be ironic if the wheelchair lady got called up at the exact same time as the treadmill prize comes up?
Stage hand 2: Yeah, man…that would be cruel. Here take a hit on this doobie I got from actor Seth Gilliam of AMC’s The Walking Dead
Stage hand 1: Thanks man. Pass it on the left hand side please.
Warning: Repeated joke
Pour Some Sugar On Me
Adam Levine, lead singer of the sugary pop band, Maroon 5 was bombed with actual sugar outside of Jimmy Kimmel’s show. Apparently Kimmel wasn’t involved in the attack, but instead, it was celebrity stalker; Navid Farsi. Previously to this assault, Farsi had thrown a rock at The Rock.
Very clever.
What do you suppose he would throw at Madonna?
Chevy Chase?
Larry The Cable Guy?
Spike Lee?
Credit: Eonline
Cruising Down The Highway…Looking For Advent-zzzzzzzzz
The driver of this car was out from a leisurely drive when it became a little too leisurely and he passed out. There is some speculation that the driver is faking it in order to get his internet 15 seconds of fame…but the footage is awfully scary and to wreck a nice car like this is probably not worth it.
It does beg the question…why are you filming yourself driving?
Oh…
And where is the camera positioned anyway?
Also…
What kind of shampoo does he use? (His hair looked really healthy.)
Warning: This video will make you poo your pants
News From The Office
The winner of our contest for a copy of One Zero One, The Card Game is: LINSTAYOUT! Congratulations! It is being shipped from China were it’s manufactured so…
A) It’s going to take a couple of weeks
and
B) Don’t be nervous about receiving a package with Chinese letterings on it.
and
C) You won! It’s a great game! Enjoy!
If you didn’t win, don’t worry…we have more prizes coming in the very near future…including a cool set of The Princess Diary playing cards and an autographed copy of Ned’s book!
Ned interviews author Ima Knowitall in a multi-part interview Barbara Walters style. Links: Part One and Part Two.
A second podcast will be launched this month called: The Pausecast. It will join our already awarding winning podcast: The Over The Line Show With Jack And Joe.
This one will not be quite as good.
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag
Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic
LAP TV: YouTube
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