Entertainment Magazine

Heads Will Roll

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

Warning: some Zombie fiction. I haven’t written one in awhile….

The severed head bounced down the stairs hitting each one with the thud of a sick bowling ball.

It looked like a rather macabre slinky coming down.

Jason was used to such horrors…now at least. It was way better than the alternative upstairs. The alternative being a small, hungry horde of the undead.

Jason had the less risky job of collecting the fallen zombie heads and putting them into a big metal trash can. It was still dangerous though. He could still get bit.

Jason had one trash can full already. After the house was cleared, the heads would be burned and buried…what the Zombie Patrols called a B & B.

Jason was a little too young to be a part of the “Hunters”, so he had to work as a “Collector”. He was a good collector too.

Jason wore an old Umpire’s chest protector and big thick gloves. Sometimes the heads still would have some bite. The Hunters main concern was to thin the number of zombies by loping off their heads first, thus stopping the body from attacking. The body would generally just drop to the floor and twitch and spasm for awhile…kind of like when you cut a worm in half…only worms of course, didn’t have arms and legs…or bleed. The Collectors would scoop the heads up, carefully as to not get bitten, and put them in the big metal trash cans. Later the heads would be examined and identified as best as possible. Most were never identified. Then a little B & B action would take place. Plots of land had been set aside for the burial grounds. Each head plot was marked with the number of craniums, today’s date, and the traditional bio-hazard symbol. The head fields had become quite the tourist attraction, enough so it now costs $2 to walk them.

Thud…Thud…Thud…Thud…Thud….

Another head came bouncing down the stairs. When it reached the bottom, it’s face was against the floor…which was perfect. You want the teeth away from you. What wasn’t perfect was the fact that this was a bald man. It’s much easier to grab the head by the hair and scoop it into the trash can in one quick step. Being this undead was bald, Jason would have to find the best place to lift the head without getting near it’s still active mouth. To make matters much worse, the head was covered in goo and blood. It was going to be a slippery beast for sure.  Jason tried to palm it like a basketball at first, but the human head is a lot heavier than one would think.

Especially a dead one.

So, Jason had no choice but to rest one hand on the top of the goop covered chrome dome and the other hand in it’s neck hole. Jason hated touching the neck hole. It felt weird, and more importantly it still felt somewhat alive. But this really was his only option.

As Jason picked up the head he could see it was still very active. The teeth were gnashing together. The sound was horrible. He could hear the sliding and scraping of enamel on enamel. The head twitch way too much.

This head was way too alive.

Ha ha…alive…

The goop didn’t help either.

Suddenly another head bounced down the stairs catching Jason off guard. His fingers sunk into the meaty neck hole, spraying a small gush of blood. Jason let out a cry of disgust as the hand resting on the man’s bald scalp slipped. Now the whole head was falling out of his hands. Jason adjusted himself as the head made it’s decent towards the floor.  Almost out of instinct from his days as a wide receiver on the Freedom High Patriot’s football team, he fell to one knee thus keeping the head from falling to the ground…but not the zombie’s teeth from taking a big bite out of flesh on his leg.

Jason was in shock. He dropped the head into the trash can and grabbed his leg. The blood spurt from the leg artery like a lawn sprinkler.

“No…no! NO!” Jason said through gritted teeth. He applied pressure with his hands to try to stop the bleeding.

Two more heads bounced down the stairs. Jason watched them, they almost seemed to bounce in slow motion. He hung his own head against his chest. He could feel his breath already slowing. The zombie’s bite worked fast. Usually  it only took 5 to 10 minutes and you became a card carrying member of the undead shuffling crew.

“No,” he whispered.

From up the stairs he heard John, the leader of the Hunters call, “That’s it. All clear!”

Jason sighed and let go of his wounded leg. The blood started spurting again.

He called up to the Hunters, ”Guys, you have one more!” as he slowly climb the stairs.


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