I had both of my children later than most of my friends; my first child was born when I was twenty-eight which I did not think at the time was too very old. My second child was born seven years later when I was thirty-five and I did not really think much about it at that age either until it was time to deliver but I sure did feel the difference. Even though I did not consider myself old I felt a big difference in the two deliveries of my babies. Not only did I notice when I delivered but I could tell my energy level in raising a toddler had dwindled too!
I had a few more complications at thirty-five also. It really never crossed my mind that I was an older mom until they started wanting to do all the tests to see if everything was alright with the baby.
There are benefits of being an older parent even though sometimes it is harder on your body and your stamina. I was a much wiser parent and made sounder decisions based on more than just book knowledge. I was also much more stable and settled in my own life versus what I had been in my early twenties which believe me was a blessing for my children! Not only that but financially things were much more comfortable and the ability to provide for a family is greater when you are an older parent. Being young you do have tons more energy but most of us do not have the life experiences to fall back on, we just end up kind of growing up with our kids. Which is not always bad but it can be pretty crazy for both kids and parents.
I will admit that sometimes as an older mother you tend to overanalyze things and make decisions more like you were micro-managing than you would as a young person. Things that you never even think about when you are younger become more apparent as we age but then we are better prepared to handle them too. The trade off from enough energy to wiser and being financially in better shape is a good one in my opinion, especially if you can afford to pay a sitter to give you some much needed time off!
The emotional stability is a benefit to your children especially if you are in good health and can continue to be active with your kids. Sometimes as young parents we can keep up with the kids but we do not give them the stability they need. All in all I think, in my opinion, the older parentshave a marked advantage. I did not always feel this way, especially when I was worn out! I remember thinking about my mom who at twenty-three had three children and was done having her kids. She had so much energy and we flew about town doing this or that every day; she seemed to never run out of juice! I felt at a disadvantage but then when I tallied the pros and cons and realized what I had not gotten from my parents because of their youth I truly believe the older parents have the advantage.
The other day I was thinking about an old friend of mine in grade school that I went to stay with often. They had (at least what I considered at the time)elderly parents. They reminded me of my grandparents and I went home and asked my mom why they were so old. I do not think she really knew what to say to me, but she told me that my friend had much older brothers and sisters and that she had been born later in life.
She was a very stable friend and always did very well in school. They had things at their house that we never got at our house. We were both middle class families but many times because there were three children in our family we would have to take turns getting things like breakfast cereal. Mom would give each of us a turn every week on the cereal we would buy. Only one box (the horrors)! I also remember soda pop was a luxury and we did not get it often. One of the great highlights of my young life when it comes to foods came when my friend with the older parents invited me over and asked me if I wanted a Pop Tart! I had never seen them before except on commercials and I had certainly never tasted one. It was such a treat for me and quickly became one of my favorites! That may sound silly but that was an advantage my friend had from having older parents. Now I know I am generalizing, in this day and age there are younger parents with money and probably were then but that is not the norm.
Either way it is a blessing to have children, regardless of your age. Having children younger is easier on the body but if you are in good health and keep physically fit it is usually no problem. Our energy is much better when we stay fit too. Having financial freedom is a plus too.There is more of a chance that our children will be spoiled but if we do everything in moderation and realize they need to learn to work for what they get this can be avoided. This is the main area I have noticed that older parents fail their children, by giving them everything on a silver platter and then they do not know how to make it on their own. Instead of making their life easier in the long run it becomes harder.But then that is where our wisdom comes in handy!
I really do not think it is as big a deal these days as it has been in days past when it comes to being an older parent. Mostly I believe this is because we have better healthcare but also because ideas have changed about women’s roles in the workplace and we start our families later. People have long thought that having children younger was better but this thinking has changed. I personally think there are many advantages to being an older parent but either way is such a blessing!
About the Author
Nancy Parker is a regular contributor to www.enannysource.com and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny background check tips etc. You can reach her @ [email protected]
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