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Governor of Texas Allegedly Messed With Texas

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

CNN reports that Texas Governor Rick Perry has been “indicted on felony charges of coercion of a public servant and abuse of his official capacity.”

Perry allegedly used the threat of vetoing stuff when you apparently aren’t allowed to threaten to veto stuff, including stuff involving money already earmarked for spending in Texas. 

He reportedly is still allowed to continue governing Texas, as apparently nobody vetoed a law called Let’s-Imitate-Toronto’s-Initial- Reaction-To-Mayor-Rob-Ford’s-Scandals.

3 Things That Would Make This News Story More Exciting

1. If Governor Perry threatened to veto all funding to Texas law enforcement unless the charges against him are dropped. Think about it: if there’s no money to arrest and take mugshots of Rick Perry, he can’t be convicted. And if the charges are dropped, he can’t be convicted. Sounds like a win-win if you allegedly use the threat of vetoing things to get whatever you want!

2. Watching Republican and Democrat talking heads shout on cable news at each other about this, after having to leave bars on a Friday night to discuss this situation.

3. Interrupting broadcasts of the Houston Astros’ and Texas Rangers’ games for this breaking news. Because anything would be more exciting than watching the two worst teams in the American League play!


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