Humor Magazine

Goodfellas Weight Loss Plan

By Dmroughton
I'm about 6 weeks into Extreme Atkins now, and I have lost 30 pounds. Others have commented on my Facebook that they have hit a wall in their weight loss plan and wonder how I keep losing. Well, despite my extremely sparse diet and increased cardio, I have also slowed down. It's getting harder and harder to drop more weight.
Take today's weigh in for example. This morning's weigh in trials were up and down (I always weigh more than once to verify accuracy). Based on yesterday's weigh in, today's (all within a few minutes of each other) show the following:
  1. Loss of about half a pound. Grrrr. Is that all?
  2. No loss. What?
  3. No loss. Ok, now. Stop playing.
  4. Gain of a pound. You are full of it.
  5. Gain of TWO pounds. You can kiss my ass!

    Goodfellas Weight Loss PlanOk, this is getting ridiculous. There is a time for fun and games, but I want a serious answer. I am only going to ask you this one more time, and I better hear something I like...
    6. Loss of three quarters of a pound.Yeah, that's what I thought, bitch!

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