Humor Magazine

Ginger Heartache With Aunty Bill

By Gingerfightback @Gingerfightback

Aunty Bill - A Tin Opener Short

Aunty Bill

A Teste Jilting

Aunty Bill

I have just been dumped by my girlfriend for another man. I thought she was the one. All I got was a text. It said “I’m off with Jason. He has his own shoes and doesn’t have a face that looks like Hitler’s good bollock. Can I have my Pink album back as well?”

How can I win her back?

Les, Norwich

Aunty Bill Replies;

Les,

Sorry to hear of your woes although it sounds like this girl is gone for good although if you follow my advice there is a slim chance you can still win her back. Invest in a decent pair of comfortable and fashionable shoes (Shoe Zone have a great “Buy one get a pair free” offer on at the moment).

Stamp your own individuality on them by customising them. How about sprinkling the heels with Hundreds and Thousands? This will make you really stand out from the crowd! She will certainly know you mean business and poor Jason will have to raise his game in the footwear stakes to compete with you.

There’s a small chance that people may laugh at you in the street and on the odd occasion throw something at you, but turn the other cheek (the one that doesn’t look like Hitler’s good bollock), you’ll have the last laugh.

Good luck!

Aunty Bill


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