General Update

Just a little post to let you know how things are going at the momentWe are getting work done on our kitchen at the momentA new wood floor in the sitting areaAnd the work top in the kitchen is being extendedNeedless to sayThe house is completely upside downWorkmen in and out of the houseA thick layer of dust over everything The dogs are totally confusedThe kitchen and utility room are their rooms really So now they've been taken overThere is no where for them to go So Lea sits in my car And Honey wanders around the garden like a little lost soul The weather is miserable at the moment Very fitting for November We've had to move everything out of the kitchenDo we are making tea and such in my bedroomThat suits me just fine as I drink copious amounts of tea Anyway It will be worth it when the kitchen is doneThere will be air more room and spaceSo we will concentrate on that 
This morning My sister and I got up early About 7amBrought the dogs for a walk And then went swimming We have been meaning to go swimming for months And finally went this morning I used to go swimming a lot last year As with a lot of things I am all or nothing I used to swim five times a week Then one day I stopped going And haven't been since I must admit I didn't really want to go swimming this morning I just couldn't find the motivationBut my sister talked me into itSo I went Part of the reason I didn't want to go swimming Is that I didn't want to see myself in a swimming suit And didn't want others to see me either But I figured we were very early so we might not meet anyone elseWe arrived at the pool at about 8 30amThere was dance music being piped in to the changing roomsSo my sister and I had a morning rave Which was fun Then it was time to strip And make our way out to the pool Getting in is the worst partI was freezing But I jumped in And soon got used to the water Once I was inI really enjoyed it I usually swim about 140 lengthsBut I wanted to ease in to it todaySo I was happy having done 80As I got out of the waterI caught sight of myself in a glass doorTo my surprise I didn't look too bad I still have a bit of color on my skinI look healthy CurvyLike a 34 year old woman should From shopping the other dayI know what size I amI tried on clothes in size 8, 10 and 12And I would say that I am in fact a 9Somewhere between 8 and 10 is perfect for me And of course It depends on the shopSizes can differ greatly from brand to brand So yes I think I am ok with my body I don't love itBut I don't hate it the way I used to It is what it is And I can live with it Just about 
I must admit Curiousity has got the better of me recently And I have weighed myself a few times My weight seems to have stabilised And I am happy enough at a BMI of 20 - 22As someone once said to me If my clothes fit If my hair and nails are healthy And if I feel good Then it doesn't really matter what my weight is And anyway Apart from myself I don't think any one gives a flying f**k what weight I am They care thdt I am healthy and happy Not that I weigh X kilos Or that I am a certain clothes sizeI don't knowMaybe it's my age Or maybe it's my recovery But as I get olderI care less and less what people think of meAnd I am also becoming less judgmental Of others You weigh this amount?That's cool As long as you are happy and healthyIt doesn't effect me You smoke?That's cool too It doesn't effect meYou rock a faceful of piercings?More power to you Whatever works for you You wear nine inch thigh high boots?Go for it!You are braver than me I don't care if you shave your headGrow a beard Have various body modifications If you wear skin tight leather pants Or don't wear clothes at all I say cool!What ever works for youAnd whatever you feel comfortable in I support whatever decision you want to make for your health and happiness 
In other newsMy Mother is still holding on to my medsAnd thdt is working quite wellIt hadn't been perfect every single dayBut it's a lot better than it wasAnd I am doing my best I haven't gone to a meeting yet And the thought of going is very overwhelming But I still plan to goIf I could just get there I get very anxious when I think of goingI know I don't have to speak if I don't want to But if I goI want to speak But that is putting pressure on myself And I can't help doing that I also know that it would help me to go Just got my headAnd for peace of mind I will try to goI really will 
That's really all for now folks I hope you have a lovely FridayAnd see you on the next post....