Every now an then I get requests from moms asking to do a guest post. As you can see I don't do it that often, but usually, when I do, it's for a good reason. Like this one. One of the most important things for a mom is having support. We have a rough job but having people in our corner helps immensely, especially when we're hit with a crisis. This is Heather's story ...
There’s a popular phrase, “it takes a village,” that is offered by well-meaning people to expecting mothers, and I can vouch for the validity of the saying. I gave birth to my daughter on August 4, 2005, with no complications, except for an emergency C-section. Our village was quick to surround us. My husband’s family joined my parents, along with so many of our friends, in coming to wish us well as they met Lily. With such a wonderful beginning, we had no expectation of the verging storm, and nothing could have prepared us for it.My return to full-time employment a month later, is when things began to go downhill. My energy was gone. I felt tired and breathless, and while these might have easily been attributed to my recent pregnancy and my becoming a new mother, I sensed that something wasn’t right. A doctor visit and a slew of tests produced the culprit.Lily was only three and one-half months old when I was diagnosed. November 21, 2005 was the date that I learned that I was contending with malignant pleural mesothelioma. This cancer affects the lining of the lung and is primarily caused by exposure to asbestos. My childhood exposure didn’t manifest until this point, 30 years later, and my symptoms were serious, indicative of mesothelioma.My initial concerns weren’t for myself but for my baby. My appointment didn’t result in the great news that I hoped for. Rather, I was informed that if I did nothing, I would have approximately 15 months to live. My thoughts turned to my infant as I looked at my husband. The idea of them going on without me was devastating, and I knew that I needed to do everything possible to save my life. The prognosis of mesothelioma is grim, so we took the most drastic approach offered. I flew to Boston with my husband in order to receive care from one the best doctors dealing with mesothelioma. The treatment I underwent on February 2 was called extrapleural pneumenectomy, and it required that my left lung be removed. 18 days of recovery in the hospital were followed by another two months of recovery time. This was followed by chemotherapy and radiation, all during the important months of early motherhood. This wasn’t how I pictured my first months as a parent.Our village provided the support system that we desperately needed, surrounding us with their love, prayers and support. This village included a variety of people from many parts of our lives, many we hadn’t expected to come to our aid. Many that we thought we could depend on, meanwhile, fled. Cancer is an unusual catalyst in relationships, and it’s interesting to see those that stand close while others fade from sight. Lily stayed with my parents during our time in Boston, moving into the role of raising her rather than simply enjoying their position as grandparents. They had their own circle of supporters, their village, supporting them. Volunteers came from all sorts of places. Children I babysat as a teenager were now grown ups, parenting their own children but ready to help watch Lily when my parents needed them. My childhood church family surrounded my parents with love and support while we were away. We managed each new day because of this support system. My sweet daughter was learning to eat food while I was away, and began to become quite mobile. I witnessed these events through printouts of photos in grainy black and white. My nurses admired and joined in the appreciation of these photos, trying not to cry. My daughter was the reason I was there, fighting for my live. She was in wonderful hands, and my parents’ bond with her is deep as a result.
Our family tries to embrace life fully now, and we realize how fragile it truly is. An easy road was never promised, but we’ve battled and done the best we can. My favorite quote says, “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.” How true this is. Embrace life vibrantly, no matter what it sends your way. The effects of cancer have been odd. While there is bad, there has also been a lot of good. Dire as my diagnosis was, a great deal of good has come of it, for which I am thankful.
Heather Von St James is a 43-year-old wife and mother. Upon her diagnosis of mesothelioma, she vowed to be a source of hope for other patients who found themselves with the same diagnosis. Now, over 6 years later, her story has been helping people all over the globe. She continues her advocacy and awareness work by blogging, speaking and sharing her message of hope and healing with others. Check out her story at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog
