According to my Shrink, I have a tendency for “avoidant behaviour” or – to use more common parlance – I am a cowardly coward. I would be the Patron Saint of Cowardice, but I’m afraid of the responsibility.
Allow me to explain the situation: my darling wife fabricated an elaborate web of lies involving my stepdaughter, arrangements for her school dance, her boyfriend and my wife’s ex (said stepdaughter’s father). The details are unimportant, but the web has unravelled in an impressively spectacular fashion. I warned her that this would probably happen, because anything involving teenagers inevitably succumbs to the harsh realities of Murphy’s Law, so I believe I am entitled to a serving of fresh schadenfreude here.
Unfortunately, when my darling wife suffers self-inflicted wounds, she immediately sets about looking for someone to express her rage on. Experience has taught me that I am conveniently target-shaped, so it’s best to stay out of range until she calms down.
Also, it’s a bad idea to suggest that she calms down.
