Humor Magazine

Fanny Redcrack’s Christmas Cooking Guide For Festive Fun and Frolics!

By Gingerfightback @Gingerfightback

Fanny Redcrack’s Christmas Cooking Guide For Festive Fun and Frolics!

As regular readers will know, each year Fanny writes the same story from a prison cell in Nice, awaiting sentence for truffle smuggling. Despite the ongoing advances of Le Prison Gouveneur, she remains in good spirits (100% proof vodka).

Dear Fanny,

My wife left me this week because she found out I’m quite fond of dressing up as a quiche. This didn’t go down too well at our daughter’s nativity play and wifey chose to leave me.

Anyway, the problem is I’ve got a 32lb turkey defrosting for the big day and I’m at a loss as to what to do with the leftovers.

I’ve decided to wear a crabstick on New Years Eve!

Paul, Upper Ramsbottom.

Dear Paul.

As I write from my cell I can’t help but think of you in your quiche and what a fine sight that would be.

Unfortunately I’m resigned to spending my Yuletide in the company of miscreants. Alas all is not lost as my cell mate, Marcledreuxleix, has brewed a rather fine batch of hooch made from fermented snail urine, scrotum shavings and leftover hard boiled eggs. Mmmmmmm…………..

Boxing day Turkey, Ham, Leek and Tarragon Pie.

Combine cooked leeks, a splash of white wine, half a cup of chicken stock.

Add your leftover turkey and ham, simmer then add creme fraiche and chopped tarragon. Heat and serve topped with a (shop bought puff pastry) crispy, golden brown pie lid.

Scrummy

Merry Noel!

Le Rougecrack


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