Fashion Magazine

F***, Marry, Or Kill: 2011 Met Ball Edition

By Astylizedhysteria

 

Well, it’s that time again. The 2011 Costume Institute Gala, also known as the Met Ball, was last night. Celebrities put on (or in at least one case, were sewn into) their dresses. The evening was dedicated to Alexander McQueen, a designer who created some of the most interesting and dramatic designs we’ve seen. You’d think the celebrities would have dressed to honor this ideal. Not to mention, it’s a friggin’ ball. I found, however, most celebs played it safe and as  result, left me bored to tears. There were a few who went for the drama and succeeded while others went for the drama and fell so flat they wouldn’t even qualify as a speed bump on the fashion highway. Yeah, I know there aren’t speed bumps on the highway- you try making that metaphor work!

So here we go… Fuck, Marry, or Kill: 2011 Met Ball Edition

 

Fuck

Freida Pinto at 2011 Met Gala
Freida Pinto

She took a chance, and while it’s a little off the wall, but it’s a million times better than the sea of gold, beige, and boring dresses seen last night.

 

Ashley Green at 2011 Met Ball
Ashley Greene

You look pretty. Not wifey material, just pretty.

 

Marry

Gisele Bundchen at 2011 Met Gala
Gisele Bundchen

I know, I know. She’s totally overhyped, a little full of herself, and we’re tired of seeing her. But damn does she look good. I think this is my favorite outfit of the night.

 

Dakota Fanning at 2011 Met Ball
Dakota Fanning

I am totally on Team Dakota. This is exactly what I would have worn if I was her age and going to a ball. Except I also would have covered myself in glitter. Because glitter rocks.

 

Doutzen Kroes at 2011 Met Ball

Doutzen Kroes

Another gorgeous red dress. Very simple, but dramatic!

 

Liv Tyler at 2011 Met Ball
Liv Tyler

Love it. Just. Plain. Love. It. This is a bird-inspired dress that’s not a trainwreck.

 

Diane Kruger at 2011 Met Ball
Diane Kruger

Meow. While this isn’t the typical “gala” outfit, it’s gorgeous and interesting enough to work.

 

Kill

Naomi Campbell 2011 Met Ball
Naomi Campbell

I get what you’re going for here- You’re an angel that has escaped the clutches of mad, deranged fashion editors who want you to get out bed for less than $10,000. No? Existential Mummy? Umm… I’m out of explanations.

 

Kirsten Dunst at 2011 Met Gala
Kirsten Dunst

This looks like something Helena Bonham Carter would wear. Yeah, I went there.

 

Kate Hudson at 2011 Met Gala
Kate Hudson

Dear Diary, I finally got to attend my prom! Okay, so it’s not really my prom. They’re honoring some weird dead guy. But I’m pregnant and radiant and this dress totally covers my belly. And don’t tell Goldie, but I snuck a flask in under my dress. White wine spritzers are so yum!

 

Beyonce at 2011 Met Gala
Beyonce

At least her boobs distract from the awful bottom of the dress? Seriously though, I bet $20 she cannot breathe in that dress. No one can see your size tag, B. go ahead and grab that next size up.

 

Blake Lively at 2011 Met Gala
Blake Lively

I  blame the dress, I think. If she can’t make this look good, then maybe no one could. No, you know what? It was a bad choice! Blake, we get it. You’re hot. Super hot. Stop doing anything and everything possible to get us to imagine you naked.

 

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