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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Tanning Your Internal Organs – Oily George’s Beauty Tips

By Gingerfightback @Gingerfightback

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Tanning Your Internal Organs – Oily George’s Beauty Tips

Hi Oily,

Like you I love a good tan. If I don’t have a 3 hour tanning session every day, well life isn’t worth living. But I want to go deeper than that. Yep! that’s right I want to tan my organs as well. I was thinking of beginning with my liver and then working steadily upwards until all me innards are golden brown.

Any tips?

Larry, Japan

Oily Replies;

Hi Lal,

Get all parts golden brown, texture like sun. Actually this gives me a chance to advertise my friend Harry the Heel’s exciting new business venture. He is a top chef – well – failed and frequently sacked porter if you want to split hairs – at one of Gordon Ramsay’s establishments in that London. Or as Ramsay himself likes to call it ‘my f***ing **** eaterie you ar****ole f***ing tw*t’.

The business is an organ tanning service. For example you send your liver to Harry at the restaurant – £450 plus p&p and he will ensure the liver is tanned as per your instructions.

Do label clearly though.

You know how it is with busy kitchens. In the rush you don’t want your liver to get mixed up with the actual food orders. That is unfortunately what happened with my dear and now frequently dead friend Michael Winner. You will note that in his later years he did look peaky. However I will say no more for fear of prejudicing the court case.

So Larry give it a go. I can personally recommend it. I am sending you some before and after pics of my spleen, kidney and bladder. That should seal the deal!

Oily


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